Jax moved his gaze to the fields in front of us, his hands curling into fists. “Just stay away from her. From all of us. That’s what you can do.”
Tears clogged my throat. “If that’s what you all want, then that’s what I’ll do.”
But it shattered the last piece of Jase I’d been holding in my heart to walk away.
31
Laiken
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Brett’s voice cut through my thoughts as we sat in front of The Gallery. “Sorry. I spaced for a second.”
He shifted in his seat to face me. “You’re allowed to space. You’ve been through a lot the past few weeks.”
Understatement of the century. I opened the passenger door, ready to make my exit. I didn’t have it in me for a heart-to-heart with Brett right now. It didn’t matter that he was kind or that we’d known each other forever. If I started talking about things now, I’d break, and I wasn’t sure it was something I’d be able to come back from. “Thanks for driving me. I’ll be here for an hour or so, and then I’ll be ready to go back to Boden’s. I can drive myself if—”
“Nope. I’ll come back in an hour. And we have foot patrols on the street, so you’ll have officers keeping an eye on things.”
That should’ve made me feel safe. Instead, it made it hard to breathe. As if I couldn’t get my lungs to inflate fully. “Thanks.”
I headed for the front door of The Gallery. A shop I had put my blood, sweat, and tears into but one that wasn’t mine. It belonged to a family I had once been a part of but no longer was. And maybe I’d been forcing my way into their ranks since Jase died.
The antique bell over the door let out its familiar jingle as I stepped inside. Even that sound hurt, grating against my skin and embedding itself there.
Addie looked up from the desk. As soon as she took me in, she leapt to her feet. “Oh, God. Laiken.” She pulled me into her arms and held me tight. “Beckett swore you guys were okay, but I can’t imagine how scared you must’ve been. You are okay, right?”
I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. “I’m okay.”
My voice came out as more of a croak, and Addie pulled back, surveying my face. “Come on. Let’s get you in the back, and I’ll make you some tea. Where’s Boden?”
“He’s at his place. Beckett said he needed to rest, and I had to do a few things before heading over there.”
Serena looked up from where she was stacking crates. She wasn’t in her usual attire, this time opting for jeans and a casual blouse. Her blond hair was piled in a top knot on her head, and she’d clearly been building the crates herself. Her eyes widened as she took me in. “Laiken.”
“Hey.”
Addie ushered me to a chair and sat me in it. Then she moved to our coffee machine and used it to dispense some hot water. Plunking a tea bag into the mug, she set it in front of me and wrapped my hands around it. She pulled a chair close to me and sat. “What can I do?”
My eyes burned, and my nose stung. “This is good. Thank you, Addie.”
Serena moved closer, hovering at the edge of the table. “You’re okay?”
I nodded, unable to get any other words out.
“Boden?” she asked.
I nodded again. Then I looked up into Serena’s face. “Am I hurting your mom?”
She blanched. “What do you mean?”
“I went to see her, and she got so upset that I was seeing Boden… I—I’m not sure what to do. I always thought that it helped that we had a relationship, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe all I’m doing is making things worse.”
Serena lowered herself to the chair on my other side. “It’s not you,” she said so softly I could barely make out the words.
“It sure seemed like it was.”
“It’s not. She’s not well. I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until I was home.” Serena swallowed, her eyes reddening. “She still has Jase’s room exactly as it was before. Sometimes, she talks about him like he’s still alive. When I tried to talk to Dad about getting her some more intensive help, he freaked. And Jax is no help. He all but supports her delusions, thinking he’s helping.”