“He won’t if I’m around.” I wouldn’t let Laiken be exposed to someone who had the same capacity to harbor twisted hate as my brother did.
“You won’t be here forever, Boden. Just like you can’t be with me every second of every day. I have to find my own way with Jax. I’m just not sure what that’ll look like.”
A muscle in my cheek ticked. “We’ll see about that.”
Laiken shook her head and then looked up into my eyes. “You came. You didn’t want to. But you came.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier.”
“You’re here now. That’s what counts.”
I bent, pressing my lips to her temple. “I’m with you, Laiken. I might not do it perfectly, I might be a mess, but I’m here.”
“That’s all I want.”
Music started, and I pulled back. “We should go inside.”
Laiken nodded and slipped her hand into mine. It fit perfectly. Those delicate fingers weaved through mine, balancing something deep within me. A few more of those ragged edges around my heart soothed at the touch.
She led me to one of the back pews, and we slid in next to a man I didn’t recognize. His eyes flashed in recognition, and he muttered something under his breath that I didn’t quite catch, then turned to face the front of the church. Laiken kept a hold of my hand.
She didn’t let go when the music ended, or when the pastor began speaking. She didn’t let go when Lisbeth’s cousin gave a moving eulogy. She didn’t waver once. We leaned on each other, getting through the best we could. And in that moment, I knew this was how it could always be. A give and take. A sort of messy perfection that was the most incredible thing I’d ever experienced. And I’d do anything to protect it.
22
Laiken
Bodenand I moved quickly out of the church. I’d heard the telltale sign of whispers; his name lifted on the stale air filling the sanctuary. As we hit the stone steps, I looked up at him, worry furrowing my brow. “I didn’t think so many people would recognize you so quickly. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. I want you to have your peace here.” He’d lived with eyes on him for so long. I wanted him to have a break from that for once.
Boden slowed his pace as we hit the parking lot. “Word was bound to get around. It’s not like I’m hiding out. I’m going to restaurants, The Gallery, the grocery store. Hopefully, now, gossip will spread, and then things will die down.”
God, I hoped he was right.
Boden cupped my face in his hands. “You hanging in there?”
“Yeah. It helped to have you there. A lot. Thank you.”
He kissed my temple again. The feel of those lips skating across my skin only made me want to lean closer. That flame, pulling me in.
“Will you do me a favor?” he whispered.
“What?”
“Stay with me tonight.”
“Boden.”
“What?”
The question danced over my skin. “I don’t know if I can gotherewith you. I…” My words trailed off because I wasn’t sure how to explain that I was terrified—for so many different reasons, I couldn’t explain them all.
“You can sleep anywhere you want. Couch. Guest room. My bed. Wherever. I’m not in a hurry. We have all the time in the world.”
Only I wasn’t sure we did. At some point, Boden would have to go film his movie. He’d have to return to his life in LA. And I would be left behind. I’d already been shattered once. I didn’t think I’d survive it a second time.