My hands fisted and flexed at my sides as I ran through things in my mind. All the times Carissa and I had broken up, only for her to end up in tears on my doorstep weeks or months later. What if I would’ve let her go? Told her the truth? That I’d always love her, but we weren’t good for each other. Maybe then Eli wouldn’t have fixated.
But he had. And I had to carry the weight of that now.
I shook out my hands as I pushed up the path. My steps faltered as I took in the figure in the field ahead. Dark brown hair lifting on the breeze, eyes cast up to the sky.
I was walking towards her before I even knew what was happening. She had that pull. Something in her mirrored something in me.
As I got closer, I saw the tears on her face. It wasn’t until I was just feet away that I took in the camera—the camera with no one behind it.
Gizmo’s head popped up, and he let out a happy bark.
Laiken’s head snapped in my direction, her eyes widening as she quickly wiped away the tears. I saw the layers of her mask weaving back into place. She carefully packed away whatever she’d come here to let loose.
I crouched, scratching behind Gizmo’s ears, my gaze not straying from the gorgeous woman in front of me. “Does Gillian know you’re the photographer?”
Laiken opened her mouth to say something and then snapped it closed again. Her shoulders curved in on themselves, drooping. Everything in her posture spoke of defeat. I hated everything about the emotion being carved into Laiken. I moved without thinking, coming in close. My hand found her cheek, lifting her head. “Hey. I’m not going to say anything.”
Her amber eyes glowed in the late afternoon light. “No one’s supposed to know.”
“Why?”
“It’s the only way I can be free in making it.”
I studied her for a moment, trying to come up with the right words. “You want to expose the truth in people but not let anyone know it’s you exposing it.”
Laiken turned away from my gaze, facing the mountains. “I guess that makes me a coward.”
When she moved, my hand fell away from her cheek. But even with the absence of the touch, my palm tingled. I flexed my fingers at my side. “I didn’t say that.”
“It’s what you were thinking, though.”
“Cowardis a pretty strong word. I was thinking more that you’ve got a strong self-protective instinct.”
She laughed, but it had a scoffing edge to it. “I guess that much is true.”
Laiken moved towards her gear, pulling on her jacket. “Look, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone. I want to keep this mine.”
“I already told you I wouldn’t.”
As she crouched to remove her camera from the tripod, her knees buckled. I moved on instinct, catching her just before she hit the ground. “Shit, are you okay?”
Laiken struggled out of my grip, righting herself. But her legs were unsteady. “I’m fine. Just lost my balance.”
But it hadn’t been that. Her legs had given out on her and were still trembling even now. “Laiken.”
“I’m fine.”
She was an expert at those masks of hers, but I could make out the lines of strain around her eyes and mouth. “You’re hurting.”
“We’re all hurting, aren’t we?”
“I’m not talking about philosophical pain here. Something’s hurting you.”
Her mouth pressed into a firm line, and her eyes flashed. God, I admired that stubborn streak. That strength. But I wanted nothing more than for her to let me in a little. Maybe even let me help.
“Something’s always hurting.”
She said the words so softly, I wouldn’t have heard her at all if the wind hadn’t carried them to me.