“I’ll call when the photograph is ready.” And not a second before. Not even when the man in front of me was more than intriguing. I wished for an afternoon in the mountains, just me, him, and my camera. I wanted to strip away the layers of charm and flirt and expose the real man underneath.
The corner of Boden’s mouth kicked up. “We’ll see.” He gave Gilly a nod. “Lovely to meet you.”
She blinked a few times as if coming out of a daze, then cleared her throat. “You, too. Stop by anytime.”
“Thank you, I will.” And then he was gone.
I grinned at Gilly. “How are you going to make sure you’re here when he comes back?”
She bent, lifting Gizmo into her arms. “I’m going to rely on my bestest employee and dear friend to text me. Should we come up with a code word?”
A snort escaped me. “How about ‘the hottie has landed?’”
Gilly’s mouth curved. “I like it.” She paused for a moment, surveying my face. “And he likes you.”
“He doesn’t know me.”
“He could if you gave him a chance.”
I lowered myself into the desk chair. My back protested the movement. “Not interested.”
Gilly stared at me as she pulled out one of the chairs opposite the desk and eased into it.
“My life is full. So many wonderful people, a job I love, a pup who adores me and makes me laugh.”
“You still miss him.”
“Of course, I do.”
But not in the way Gilly thought. I missed Jase like a security blanket. When he died, I’d realized that life didn’t always work out the way you wanted it to. Sometimes, it twisted into something altogether different. Sometimes,youtwisted into something different. I wasn’t the same girl who’d loved that boy. But through the pain and grief, I’d realized just how strong I was. How much I could carry on my shoulders. I’d realized what was truly important to me and what I could let go.
I lifted my gaze to Gilly. “He’ll always be a part of me. In so many ways, he’s made me who I am today.”
Her expression softened. “I’m glad you carry him with you.”
But I carried so much along with it. Grief. Guilt. The weight of Kay’s struggles and Jax’s anger. Serena’s disappearance and Chip’s distance.
Gilly studied me. “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine. Last night was just a lot.”
Her lips pressed together. “Jax was out of line. He’d been drinking and—”
“Jax and I will never see eye to eye. It breaks something in Kay every time he and I get into it. I don’t want to put her through that.”
“She loves you like you were her own. And she’s used to her children squabbling.”
But this was so much more than squabbling.
Gilly was quiet for a bit as she continued to stroke Gizmo. “Losing Jase shaped us all.”
“I know that. And I’d never want to tell someone what to feel. But I can’t be the receptacle for his pain. It’s not fair to me, and it hurts too damn much.”
She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “I know, Cherub. It kills me that he puts you through that. I’ve tried talking to him, but it might be time for another conversation—”
I held up a hand, cutting her off. “Don’t do that. I don’t want you to put yourself in the middle.”
“You know I’d do anything for you.”