A burn lit down my throat. I’d spent so much time since the accident trying to mitigate every risk. To keep my girls safe. To keep myself safe. To keep us all from experiencing more pain. But in doing that, I’d made our lives smaller.
“I want to do what will make me happy, and that’s staying in the lieutenant position.”
“I have a feeling Hadley’s a part of that, too.”
The corner of my mouth kicked up. “She is.”
“Don’t know how you two stayed away from each other for so long. A blind man could see how much you meant to each other.”
I leaned back in my chair. “Because I was an idiot.”
Cap chuckled. “Us guys tend to be that way.” The humor slipped from his face. “Don’t go back there. Whatever it takes, don’t lose her. A love like that…it only comes along once in a blue moon.”
“I won’t.” The words were rough, panic edging in. Because now that I knew what it was like to live with Hadley by my side, I wasn’t sure I’d survive without her. If I did, it would be as a shell of a man.
36
Hadley
I grabbeda parking spot a few stores down from the coffee shop and hopped out of my SUV. The morning sun gave downtown an almost pink glow. It was one of the things I loved about Wolf Gap in the spring and summer. It was even more beautiful when you saw the mountains lit up in the same way.
I pushed my door closed and beeped my locks. Stepping onto the sidewalk, I paused. Toby strode down the street in my direction, his head down.
“Toby.”
His head snapped up, and he grimaced when he saw me. “Hey, Hads.” He glanced around the street as if looking for someone.
“I was just heading to the coffee shop to check on Calla.”
That grimace deepened. “She’s not there.”
“Okay…”
Toby ran a hand over his buzzed head. “She’s pissed. Went to stay with a friend for a couple of days. Said she needed to think.”
My stomach cramped, the hope for everything blowing over evaporating in the wind. “I’m sorry, Toby.”
He let out a chuckle, but nothing about it was pleasant. “Shouldn’t your boyfriend be the one to apologize?”
“Calder is sorry. He was out of line, but you didn’t exactly help.”
Toby’s gaze hardened. “I didn’t help? Your boyfriend basically accused me of panting after you in front of Calla. Of course, she’s upset.”
He was right, but there was more. If Calla didn’t already see those signs in Toby, wouldn’t she have blown the whole thing off? Or put Calder in his place?
“Toby,” I said quietly, “you know I love you, right? But that kind of love will only ever be a friendship. You were there for me when my life was falling apart—”
“You mean when Calder ripped it apart. And now you’re spreading your legs for him.”
My palm itched to strike out and slap, but I fisted my hand, keeping it firmly at my side. “Don’t youeversay that kind of thing to me again. You might be my friend, but you have no right to speak to me that way.”
“Fuck!” Toby spun around and punched the side of the building.
I winced at the cracking sound the wood made.
“Hell!” He shook his hand, blood dripping from his knuckles.
“Come on, you big idiot.” I ushered him towards the building where his and Calla’s apartment was. Toby was silent as I led him through the bike shop and up the stairs. I opened the door, knowing Toby never bothered to lock it.