I’d chosen myself over everyone else when I left. It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought about Addie—I thought of her all the time. But I’d picked myself over staying to help her. It wasn’t right or wrong, it was simply survival. It ate away at me, nonetheless.
Choices. An infinite number of them. Big and small. And together, they made up a life. One that made Addie and I strangers now.
I pulled open the door to the small café, motioning Addie inside. Jill looked up from behind the counter. “I think we’ve got a new regular. I love it.”
“I’m having a hard time staying away.”
“I’ll let you in on a little secret. That was our plan all along.”
I chuckled. “Jill, this is my cousin, Addie.”
“Nice to meet you, Addie.”
“You, too,” Addie answered softly.
Jill picked up two menus. “What do you think, outside in the sun or inside in the air conditioning?”
I looked at Addie in question.
“Let’s do inside.”
I should’ve guessed. Inside meant less chance someone might see her with me and accidentally drop that into casual conversation with Allen. Not that Allen had a whole lot of casual-conversation kind of friendships. But better to be cautious.
Jill led us to a table against the wall. “How’s this?”
“Perfect,” I said, sliding into one of the chairs. “Thanks.”
“Just wave me over when you’re ready to order.”
She disappeared back behind the counter, and Addie and I were alone again. Addie studied the menu meticulously. “What do you like here?”
“The egg salad is my favorite, but the soups are good too if you want something lighter.”
“Egg salad sounds good.” She kept her eyes glued to the laminated paper as if it held all the answers in the world.
“How are you, Addie?”
It was both the simplest question and the most complicated. But it was everything I wanted to know.
She carefully set the menu down on the table and looked up. “I’m fine.”
Nothing about her was fine. She was too skinny. Dark circles rimmed her eyes. And her fingernails had been bitten down to the quick.
“Please, don’t lie.”
A flash of heat filled her dull eyes. “And what makes you deserve the truth? My truth. You left.”
God, it was good to see a bit of life in those eyes, even if it was from anger directed at me. But the words burned, as intended. “I had to go. You know, I did. But I’m so sorry that it meant I had to leave you, too.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. “It’s been lonely without you.”
I could only imagine. After everything that had happened with my father, Allen had tightened the reins on Addie even more. She’d been cut off from the world. “You had Ben, though, right?”
“He tries to stop by as often as he can. But he had his wife, and…” Her words trailed off.
I’d almost forgotten what Ian had said about Ben’s wife. “What happened?”
Addie straightened the silverware on the napkin. “I’m not sure, exactly. There was a lot of bleeding, and no one could stop it. By the time he got her to the hospital, it was too late for her and the baby.”