Now back at her flat, just the two of us, I felt this to be more intimate and what she would rather prefer, anyway.
Tamara even has tiramisu in the fridge. Win – win if this all backfires.
I wasn’t nervous per ’se, I was confident that she would be surprised, I was just anxious she would say no.
Holy shit, what if she says no?
No time like the present. Complete this mission, Zander.
Time to turn this shitty day into anoutstandingone.
I stood from the couch, Lili taking my hand in protest to my leaving her.
“Where ye going? I was comfortable. Don’t leave me.”
I’m going far, siren. I promise.
I knew exactly how this scene would play out. Taking her hand tighter in mine she sat up with a timid smile, then I began to kneel, my eyes locking with hers.
“Alexander, what are ye-
“Liliana June Hayes, I’ve been running for so long from my demons; you cage them for me and keep them locked away. You guard me. I thought I’d never find myself with anyone that could silence the nightmares. I knew from the moment I met you on the back of that ambulance, you were going to be someone very special to me.”
“Alexander.” She whispers, her eyes going wide, and her bottom lip begins to quiver.
Excitement struck, the words at the forefront of my mind begging to be released, “you are passionate in everything you set your mind to; your art, the children’s foundation, the recreation center, your family and friends, hell, even the way you bartend; you pour your heart into everything you do.”
Her emotions take hold as her eyes well with tears then the first tear fell, happy tears, rather than the ones she experienced earlier today.
Lili is never going to suffer heartache like that ever again if I can help it. I will respect whatever wishes she demands on what took place today. If that means she will no longer have her mother in her life, or at least be an ocean away to maintain distance, I will be there to hold her up, wrap myself around her and whisper that everything will be alright.
Because it will, I know it will. I will be whatever she needs me to be.
The anaphora poem, my mental speech to my siren has transformed, and is now complete for her ears, for this moment. There is nothing holding me back from expressing my devotion for my woman, for her beauty, for her light, and for her love.
“I want to be the one you can run to when times get tough.
I want to show you that I may someday be enough.
I want to make long lasting memories together.
I want to brave this life with you in any sort of weather.
I want to share my deepest poetry with my artist.
I want to see every creation you’ve made, even the darkest
I want to be victorious, tell our monsters and demons they will not win the war against us.
I want to have not a single thing between us we can’t discuss.
I want to possess you, through sunshine and rain, thunderstorms and hurricanes, and everything in between.
I want to cherish it all with you.”
A Life With You – Alexander (Anaphora poem)
I pulled out the small black velvet box her Gran gave me last night, opening it one handed, and displaying it to her. The engagement ring Lili’s grandfather gave her Gran some forty years ago sparkled inside and I catch the moment Lili recognizes the piece.