Family and friends are seated once more as the sound of mourning fills the silence. Birds twitter merrily, a sound similar to Owen’s laughter and paying homage to all the light he brought into this world. Thunder rumbles, closer this time. Still, there is sunshine.
The flag is folded by the two bearers then handed to Sergeant Stark who presents it to the fallen hero’s wife. The solid stature of the Sergeant is a stark contrast against the fragile young women who lost her husband.
Wives want to have years with their companions, grow old together and have the promise of seeing their grandchildren.
Owen and Natasha were only married eighteen months…
“On behalf of the President of the United States Marine Corps and a grateful Nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved ones honorable and faithful service.”
Sergeant Stark offers his condolences to the family members as he hands the flag to Natasha and Ellie, Owen’s wife and daughter.
“Taps”, the song of the final goodbye is played by his sixteen-year-old brother. He’s now the man of the house; three younger siblings to raise with his mom.
One by one Owen’s brothers offer their token of empathy to the family at the end of the procession.
I saw nothing but anguish in their eyes and the knowing I should have done better to protect their soldier, their brother, a son. Their glares, wailing, and sorrow will haunt me for infinity.
I’ll never forget the day our lives changed.
How can I forget?
I apologize here and now to my men, my family, my friends, and my country. I failed you.
It’s my fault Owen is dead. No one will convince me otherwise.I’m a fucking slacker; my head wasn’t in the game, I wasn’t giving my one hundred and ten percent that day.
*Inner demons*Fess up to your sins, Zander. You’re a murderer. You’re going to hell. We welcome you home.
That voice in the back of my mind grows louder by the day. They are correct.I am a murderer.
This melancholy and sheer anguish shall go with me to my cold, silent grave. How soon will it be until I’m there?
Not soon enough I suppose.
Life is not fucking fair, nor is it guaranteed to last.
Part of me is permanently marked on that hard desert earth in Afghanistan. Don’t worry, Afghanistan made its mark on me as well. Made its mark on too many of us.
May 14, 2014, numerous lives were changed.
A mother lost her son, wife lost her husband, a child lost her father, the Marines lost a devoted soldier.
The world lost a beloved man.
Rest in peace brother…
_CHAPTER 2 - ALEXANDER_
"If I hold out here and I lay siege to Troy, my journey home is gone, but my glory never dies. If I voyage back to the fatherland I love, my pride, my glory dies.” – Achilles, Homer’s The Iliad
_Three months later_
You know the question kids are asked in elementary school,‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’My answer never changed; IknewI would be a soldier and serve my country as my father and grandfather before me. The feeling went deep in my bones, a sense of rightness, a calling to protect the innocent. I had dreams to move up the ranks and become an officer, it sent an abundance of pride thrumming through my veins. I wanted to be praised when coming home from deployment, to celebrate in our victory, and exhibit honor for my country, my brothers and sisters in arms, and all Americans.
Only what I thought to be my destiny quickly ended in a firestorm of chaos and grief. Part of me is buried six feet in the ground, and no amount of therapy, surgeries, or poetry will bring me back.
This is the new Alexander Gorski. A shell casing, cold and empty, taking up space, pride diminished to nothing.
The day Owen died; I died as well.