*Demons* We snatched it from its hiding place for you. Take it! Make us proud, Zander!
This lethal weapon holds multiple rounds, but I’m only needing one to get the job done.
How I want to end the misery, the guilt plaguing me, the promises I couldn’t uphold. My intended career is no more, and I lost a brother in the process. My woman is withdrawn and damn it,I know she’s not coming back.
Maybe the demons were more of a friend than I thought, at least they know of a cure.
My forty-five lay there in front of me, ripe for the picking, at least one in the chamber. I only need to reach out, place it in my hand, and unlike the times before now where I came to my senses and put the gun down, this time I will complete the mission.
The gun is in my hand, the safety is off. How did it get there?
*Demons*Yes! Yes! Pull the fucking trigger!
“What ’cha doin’, Corporal?” Ford’s question is heightened to be better heard over the blaring music.
I don’t look up, but I sense his body filling the doorway, alarm written all over him.
He’s left unanswered, my eyes trained on the gun in my right hand.
“It's not worth it,hermano(brother).” Ford takes a step towards me.
*Bite* “Back off, Gunner. This isn't your battle.”
The music is silenced, making my ears ring and my head pound. The demon’s taunts only scream louder now.
Ford looms over me, his words a lashing in the night.
“The fuck this isn't my battle." His massive body folds into a crouched position, far enough away to give me the space I demanded. His hands rest on his knees as my eyes find his in the dim light, “Your battle is my battle, brother. You do not have to suffer alone.”
*Spite* Where have I heard those words before? I’m pretty sure I spoke something similar to him.How not fortuitous.
*Anger* “Don’t use my words against me – don’tfuckingmock me, Ford. Get the hell out of here, leave me be.” My hand rakes over my scalp, tugging at the ends of my hair. An obtrusive laugh escapes me, “better yet, I can make this all go away, right the fuck now.”
I think I’ve insane.
*Demons*No. Not insane, Zander. It’s your truth. Pull. The. Fucking. Trigger!
“Don’t say shit like that,” he roars and lowers himself to sit on the floor, eyes are trained on the loaded weapon waiting to be cocked back and fired, “all your family, your friends, the brothers and sisters in arms, and yes, even Lili, we’d have a piece of us unwillingly taken away all because of your petty selfishness right now.”
The mention of Lili has my head spinning, I can’t go on like this, it hurts too much. “Fuck off, Ford, I didn’t ask you.”
“Naw,” he scoffs, “I’m not in the mood to call the coroner tonight. My ass right is stayin’ right here.” He shifts so his back is against the wooden footboard, “paybacks a bitch, ain’t it?”
My head tilts as I glance from the gun to Ford, my temper stirring, “what the hell are you talking about?”
Ford has no filter as he chuckles, the bastardfuckingchuckles, “Remember that long ass drive from my house to Buffalo? I told you I’d get you back for everything you did to me during that trip, maybe not that day or the next, but one day,” he held his hands out like the holy Mother Mary he is not, “here we are. It’s my turn to help you, Corporal. Like you helped me.” He sighs a deep breath, “see, I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for you.”
I kept silent, wishing he’d leave me be, allow me to consider my next move alone. The bastard won’t shut the hell up.
“Sure, the docs patched me up some, but it was your aggravatin’ determination that had me gettin’ up out of that hospital bed everydamnday.” His lips spread in a grin, “I wanted to make sure I was the one who kicked your ass.”
My lips twitch in a ghost of a smile, “you still have yet to fulfill that. Now’s your chance. I’d rightfully deserve it.” My eyes land back on the cold metal in my hand.
A hint of self-pride flickers within, a sign of hope that today might not be the day for me after all.
*Demons*Lili doesn’t want you; your family and friends are better off. You’re pathetic, look at how weak you are. You won’t have to endure anymore pain if you do it! Pull the trigger!
I squeeze my eyes shut and knock a fist against the side of my head, careful not to have my finger on the trigger as I plead with the voices inside my mind to be quiet.