My State of mind - Alexander (5 stanza Haiku)
To my sweet Lili, I give this to you the day I know you feel the same way I do. Two souls together as one.
Sliding into a pair of running shorts and nothing else, I slip the notebook in my sock drawer then head downstairs to the living room finding that too, unoccupied. Our clothing still strewn about the staircase and has my mind racing. Visions of how fast we stripped and teased each other, I was proud of myself for not taking her right there on the wooden treads.Now there’s a thought if there ever was one.
This has turned out to be one of the best weekends I’ve ever had. It’s about to get even better. I believe in it.
I need more tiramisu, but first, to find my siren. Wherever could she be?
The smell of coffee wafts through the air, encouraging me to snag a cup and begin cooking breakfast for my woman. Yes, Lili ismywoman; I told her she’s mine right before I sent her over the edge with a playful bite. Don’t worry, I was sure to lick her first.
It’s official, I licked her, she’s mine now.
As much as my poetic heart wants to tell her I love her, the moment isn’t there quite yet.It will be soon though.
Lili will be reading that poem in no time.
As I suspected, Lili sits at the little table in the kitchen, head down, coffee cup set aside and half gone, her gaze intent on something she’s reading.
“Good morning beautiful.” I beam, striding to her and landing a kiss to her temple.
Immediately I sense something is off.
Lili is stone, her gaze downcast as she reads pages from a manila file strewn across the table, a file much like that of Shark’s intel. I catch the name on the tab of the folder;‘Hayes, Liliana J.’
Oh, shit. Zander, what the fuck did you do?
*Dismay* I told Shark to cancel the search on Lili, to not dig into this. Why did he disobey an order? Why the hell is it sitting out, right there for anyone to find?
What the fuck, what the actual FUCK!
I am going to kill him!
I stand frozen, unsure what to do or say, unsure how to comfort her, and to be honest, I’m a bit curious as to what lay within the pages of the file.
This isn’t happening, it’s not real.
*Maniacal laughter*Oh, but it is. You fucked all this up for yourself. Now you must pay the price by losing Lili forever.
My demons taunt and rattle their barred enclosure, excited and ready to break through the locks, their hunger palpable.
That pale tear-streaked face sends shivers throughout my body, not the good ones either. Lili’s grip tightens on a handful of papers as she stands, then in one swift motion, her scowl strikes me down as she slams the papers on the table and glaring at me like I’ve never seen before. Rage poured off her in tidal waves, the storm she’s emitting grows by the second, lighting streaks across her tear-filled eyes.
The menacing laughter escalates in my mind; demons waking from their slumber, hungry for a fucking feast.
*Thick Scottish* “Ye better start explaining, what the bloody hell this is.” She takes a beat waiting for my answer, her posture tall and intimidating, chin raised, tears escaping as she builds her defenses.
I don’t have an answer she’d believe. I did it for her.
“I TRUSTED YE!”
*Small* “Lili – I can explain.” I take a few steps away, my heart not able to withstand the hurricane force winds she’s producing.
The slamming of my front door sounds as Shark gives his usual rhetorical greeting, Ford coming in behind him.
There is a perception that door is the door to Lili’s heart, our future. She’s slammed it closed and I know she’s never going to open it for me ever again. In the span of a few minutes, I’ve lost everything we built together.
There is no way I can fix this. Not one.