I hesitate before I sit down and ask, “Where do we start?” He runs his hand through his hair, nervousness radiating off him.
“I am going to start by apologizing to you for being a dick the past few weeks. I’m not proud of it. I was trying to forget about you.”
My eyes widen at his admission. “What do you mean you were trying to forget me?” I blurt out.
“You’re with Caleb, not me. I want to be the one with you. I was having a hard time seeing you with him and knowing you’re with him. I want you with me. I want to be able to hold you, protect you, and kiss you. It hurt knowing you were with him, especially the night Lena left to visit Preston. It kills me thinking of that night.” He stops, rubs his hands on his jeans roughly, then continues, “I thought focusing my time and energy on other girls would get you off my mind. It hasn’t worked.”
“I hated seeing you with those girls. After you told me about trying to change after everything you went through, I was disappointed to see you with them.” I say, knowing I have no right to feel this ever-present jealousy.
A frown forms on his face, and his brows pull together as he says quietly, “You were disappointed in me? Really? You’re telling me I’m not the only one who feels this?”
Can I admit I have feelings too? What if my feelings are so much more than his and I make a fool out of myself? He’s watching me as thoughts swirl around my head. I take a huge gulp of air and let it out slowly, shaking my head. “No, I wasn’t only disappointed. I… I was … I think I was jealous too.” I drop my gaze to my hands resting on my lap.
His hand cups my chin lifting my head up. A sexy grin spreads across his face. “You were jealous?”
“Yes.”
He grabs me by the waist lifting me and placing me on his lap. I turn to straddle him, and he crashes his lips to mine without hesitation. His tongue brushes across my bottom lip, and I open my mouth to deepen the kiss. My hands wrap around his neck, and I slide them up, running them through his messy hair. I can feel his perfect five o’clock shadow rubbing me with the intensity of our kiss. We pull away, breathing heavy, gazing into each other eyes.
“Having you here in my arms, I don’t want to let you go again,” he admits to me, then continues, “but… I need to know what happened with you and Caleb. Why the hell were you with that guy on the beach? That probably should have been my first question.”
His eyes search mine. How can I tell him what happened when I don’t know the whole story myself? If I thought I was confused before, I am even more so now.
“Well…honestly… I’m not sure if Caleb and I are still together.” I’m uncomfortable talking about Caleb while straddling Ethan, so I slide off and sit on the couch with my back against the armrest. I bend my knees into my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs protectively.
“What do you mean?”
I explain the whole story, about calling Caleb and the girl who answered his phone. As I talk, his body tenses and his jaw ticks.
“So…I really don’t know where that leaves me and Caleb.”
“Did you try and call his friends to ask them about this?” His voice is steady, but it’s laced with anger.
I shake my head.
“Good, because they’ll probably just lie to you. Cover up for him.” We sit in silence for a couple of minutes before Ethan continues, “Sophia, this doesn’t change anything I’ve said. I want to be with you. I want you to choose me, not him.” He grabs my hands, which were clasped over my shins, and tugs me to him. I scoot closer, and he grabs my waist again, placing me on his lap. One hand stays on my waist, holding me firmly, and the other comes up to my face and strokes my bottom lip. All I see are his beautiful, clear hazel eyes watching me.
“I know we’re not done talking, but right now I want to ring in the New Year with you. Come on, before we miss the fireworks.” He lifts me off him, and I instantly feel the chill without his body next to mine.
My thoughts and feelings are completely jumbled, and my mind is still trying to process everything that has happened. I follow Ethan as he leads me by the hand back down to the beach. All I want to do is follow Ethan wherever he leads me.
We approach the bonfire, and as everyone sees us holding hands there is a mix of reactions: smiles and relief or looks of worry and anger. Ethan seems immune to everyone watching us.
Ethan pulls out his phone, looks at it, and telling the boys, “We only have a couple of minutes left. Is everything ready?”
I look out toward the water, where the fireworks are stuck in the sand. He pulls me into him, placing my back against his chest and wrapping his arms around me.
Paige walks up to us and says, “We need a minute with her, please.”
“No can do, Paige. She stays here with me at least until after midnight.” He squeezes me a little tighter, bringing his lips to my neck and placing a gentle kiss. She looks at me, so I give her a small frown and shoulder shrug, and she walks away.
“Actually, I changed my mind. I’m not letting you go tonight.” He nuzzles in my neck as he whispers in my ear.
Someone says,“And the countdown begins,” and people join in, from twenty to one. Everyone around the bonfire simultaneously yells, “Happy New Year!”
I see the boys head to the line of fireworks to light each one. Ethan does not move away from me to help. He holds me as we watch the fireworks begin to explode in the air above us. I hear blasts as different colors and designs fill the sky.
After the last firework explodes, Ethan turns me around in his arms and brings his lips to meet mine in a deep, passionate kiss. I reach my arms around his neck, not wanting it to end, afraid what will happen if I let go.