“I’ll have an apartment to all to myself on Friday.” I whisper low so only he can hear.
“Really?” An amused expression takes over. “What are you going to do all by yourself?” He stares at me, a storm of desire brewing in his eyes.
“I was hoping to have company.” I look away from him, pulling my eyebrows together and pursing my lips. I tap my forefinger to my lips. “Who should I invite over?”
“You’re inviting me over.” The intensity in his words has me clenching in excitement.
Emboldened by his interest, I flirtatiously say, “Are you sure about that?”
He leans into my neck, licking lightly then kissing me, sending goosebumps all over the side of my body. “Pretty sure,” he whispers, brushing his fingers over the chill bumps on my arm. “Actually, I’d bet on it.” He traces his nose along the rim of my ear, making my breaths short and unsteady. Waiting for Friday is going to be hell with the way I am feeling right now.
11
Except for ourtime on campus, I have not seen Caleb. He has been working or is tired from all the shifts he’s picked up. Lena and I have had dinner at Ethan’s house every night this week.
But tonight, I came alone since Lena is with a study group. My frustration level is increasing by the second as I struggle with a chemistry problem. Overwhelmed and tense with the knowledge I still have several problems left, I squirm in Ethan’s oversized, cushy chair.
The music that fills the air surprises me. I look up to see Ethan softly strumming on an acoustic guitar. His head is bowed, with his gaze on his fingers plucking the strings. The melody is soft and soothing and helps ease the tension that began to settle in my shoulders. Mesmerized by his serene yet focused expression, I watch for a couple of minutes. His fingers are agile as they move; his forearms relax and grow taut with each chord he strikes.
Ethan looks up, continuing to play, and asks, “Aren’t you supposed to be doing homework?” A mischievous smile pulls his lips.
“Yup, but I’m stuck.” The chemistry problem has defeated me.
Ethan leans his guitar on the side of the couch and joins me on the oversized chair pulling my book and notes away from me. He’s patient as he walks through the first problem, never making me feel dumb as I make mistake after mistake until it finally clicks. Cuddled together, he spends the next hour helping me through the chemistry block.
* * *
Friday night has arrived,and Caleb will be here in less than an hour. The butterflies in my stomach have intensified with each passing hour, waiting for the unknown. I’ve had too much time to think about things, and the doubts are coming fast. Ethan called earlier to see if I wanted to come to his place since he found out I’d be alone. I told him that I was staying in, and Caleb was coming over.
Caleb walks in smiling with Sonic drinks and food. He places everything down on the coffee table.
“Do y’all have vodka?” he asks taking the lids off the drinks.
“Yeah, why?”
“It makes the cherry limeades better,” he smirks, cocking a brow.
He takes the drinks to the kitchen and pours a hefty amount in each cup. He comes back, and we get comfortable watching TV. We finish eating, and the longer we sit and watch TV, the more my unease grows. I suck on my drink, hoping the vodka helps ease the reservations that are beginning to blare. It’s my first time, and we’re not even talking about it. He just continues to stroke my arms and legs. Nothing different. Nothing special.
It’s now or never because if we wait much longer, I might change my mind, and that will probably cause a huge fight. I suck down the last of my drink, gathering the strength to be bold and stand up in front of him.
“Are you ready to go to my room?”
I grab the hem of my tee, slowly pulling it over my head and dropping it on the floor at my feet. He gets up, grabs the back of my legs lifting me up off the ground, kissing me deeply. I wrap my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck while kissing him with nervous, desperate need. This is what I want, right? He walks us to my room, placing me gently on my bed and laying on top of me. His kisses are rough. Demanding. He trails kisses down my chin toward my chest. His hands are roaming my body firmly, finding their way to my breasts, cupping his hand on one and squeezing it.
I pull his T-shirt over his head and run my hands all over his upper body, enjoying the feel of his strong chest and hoping I can get out of my head. I feel his erection through his jeans as he rocks himself into me. He slides my yoga pants down along with my panties. He pulls a bra cup down and sucks my nipple into his mouth, almost painfully. The excitement I once had is fading…
He stands up and slides his jeans down, exposing his full erection. He lays back down next to me, kissing me, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth. He pulls my other breast out of the cup and pinches my nipple, then slides his hand down my stomach and between my legs. I begin to close them, but he grabs one thigh pushing it out. He skims it back up and rubs my sex with his fingers, then slides one inside me. He pumps it in and out a few times, then takes it out. I don’t feel any pleasure. He pushes himself off the bed reaching to the floor for his jeans and pulling a condom out. He rolls the condom on then lays back down on top of me.
“Ready?”
I nod my head once as doubts continue to nag at me, but I’m too scared to say them out loud. He holds himself as he adjusts his penis at my opening then thrusts in hard and fast. A sharp pain shoots through me, forcing me to hold my breath, catching a scream. Caleb places his head in the crook of my neck and begins thrusting in and out, not giving me a chance for the pain I’m feeling to subside. This continues for a few minutes until I feel him tense and drop all his body weight on top of me. I don’t move, unsure what happens next because obviously the steamy sex scenes I have been reading about and watching in movies are completely fictional. I never thought it would be this painful, quick, and awkward. There was nothing pleasurable about this.
Caleb pulls out of me and rolls over. I’m relieved the feeling is gone. He gets out of bed and walks into the bathroom. The shower turns on.
He comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist and says, "You may want to clean yourself up. It was messy."
"Huh?" I’m confused and disappointed in his demeanor.