“Ha!” the woman scoffs at me.
The nurse shakes her head as she comes around the bed and untucks the sheets. She seems to be scolding me with her mannerism as she pulls the bedding, lifts my hospital gown, and undoes the dressing.
I don’t gasp or yell but instead say only, “Fuck,” when I see the blackened tissue and hole in my leg that goes through to the bone. “Jesus, a fucking spider, huh?”
“Necrosis, Mr. Cliffton. Like I said, you’re lucky to have your leg. The doctors have it under control enough that you’re out of the woods as far as amputation, but you’ve still got a ways to go toward healing,” she tells me.
Before she’s done debriding the wound, Kat walks in. She’s clad in a red turtleneck sweater which reminds me that our summer of freedom and celebration is long gone, and cold, gray weather is upon us. The sun has gone down on all the hope we were building. Our new future now lies in the wake somewhere behind us.
“They called and said you were awake,” she whispers. Kat removes an elastic from her wrist and ties her long wild hair back before moving to my side.
My throat is choked, and I can’t find the words to tell her I’m sorry for exiting our lives, for leaving her alone in that scary house by herself with the bane of our existence. I never meant to abandon her, abandon us, cancel our plans—maybe permanently.
She wrings her hands and sits by the bed but keeps her distance from me. I can’t put it into words, but something has changed between us. Kat’s eyes are tired and have deep dark circles. If I weren’t the one in bed right now, I’d wonder if we’d both spent the last few months in a nebulous sleep.
Nurse Ratched eventually leaves us alone, but the gloom doesn’t go away.
“I’m sorry, Kat. I had no idea. I didn’t mean to put you through this.” I can’t imagine how I’d feel if Kat fell into a coma, what I’d do if I weren’t sure my other half was gone and might never come out of it. “I hope they’ll let me come home soon.” I reach out for her hand, and she keeps hers guarded in her lap.
She lowers her eyes in shame and bites her lip. “About home, Heath. I don’t think you should come back to Wainscott Hollow. You’ve been gone a long time, and a lot has changed.”
I can hear my heart rate increase on the monitor I’m hooked up to. Mom and I had been kicked out of housing before, lost our belongings in evictions. There were plenty of times we weren’t wanted where we were, but this feels different. Wainscott Hollow is the most stable home I’ve ever had. Kat is my home, and her arms are my sanctuary.
“What’s changed? Is it Henry? Or are you trying to tell me you’ve moved on?”
“We can’t do this—the sneaking around. We’re supposed to be siblings, Heath. You’ll be fine. You have the money Dad left you.”
“I won’t be fine without you, Kat. Fuck the money.”
“You’re gonna recover, Heath. You have your leg, and soon you’ll be up and walking again,” she says morosely.
“With you. I want to walk through life with you. What the hell happened while I was asleep, Kat?”
“Nothing, Heath. We were naïve to think we could ever make it work. Dad wanted us to be family, but not like that. We were holding onto something absurd.”
I can’t respond. I haven’t envisioned a life without Kat for as long as I can remember. She’s my life, my love, my other half.
“Did I sleep for five months and wake up to you breaking up with me?”
“Listen, the money didn’t cover everything, Heath. You didn’t have insurance. Who do you think paid for you to sleep in five-star accommodations for half a year?”
“I’m sorry. I—”
“My whole life, I’ve had everything I ever wanted. Daddy always provided for me. It’s what I’m used to, and I don’t want to go slumming through the Bronx with an unknown future. I have a home here, a community. I’ll never leave Wainscott Hollow, but I think it’s time for you to go somewhere else.”
“You’re kicking me out? I don’t even know if I can walk, Kat.”
“The doctors assured me you’ll make a full recovery. We had a good run, Heath, but let’s stop pretending we’re equals. You can’t expect me to spend my whole life supporting you.”
“Kat, I never once expected that from you. What’s it gonna take?”
“This is it, Heath. This is where our story ends.”
“Wasn’t it you who said that houses change, appearances do, too, but it’s what’s on the inside that’s important to you?”
“I don’t love you. I never did,” she tells me.
I’m speechless for a moment, my mouth hanging open. I went into a coma, and I’ve woken up in a whole different universe.