“She’s helping me heal my inner child,” he continued. “That includes fixing our brotherly relationship.”
Jesus.I supposed a Brooklyn yoga instructor named Leaf was better than a mafia princess. Higher chance of turning my brother vegan, lower chance of getting him killed.
“What about Maria? I thought you were in love.”
“I haven’t talked to her in—er, since we spoke in your office.” Luca coughed. “I was talking to Leaf about it. I think I mistook the thrill of the forbidden forlovelove, you know? The two are easily confused.”
You don’t fucking say.
“But enough about my love life. We were talking about yours. With Vivian.”
I tensed again. “We sure as hell weren’t.”
“You should be celebrating after getting rid of the Laus,” he said, ignoring me. “But you’re here drinking alone like Great Uncle Agostino after losing at poker. We both know why.”
“Because I’m trying to forget I have an annoying as fuck brother with terrible taste in women.”
“No.Becauseyou actually like Vivian,” he said pointedly. “You might even love her.”
The wrecking ball of his speculation ricocheted through my chest and knocked my heartbeat off-kilter. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Be honest.” Luca leaned forward and fixed a hard stare on me. It wasn’t an expression I was used to seeing on him. It was unsettling. “Putting aside all the bullshit with Francis, do youwantto be with her?”
I tugged at my tie, only to realize I wasn’t wearing one. Then why the hell did my throat feel so tight? “It’s not that simple.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because it’snot,” I snapped. “What do you think will happen? We’ll have happy family meals at Thanksgiving after I destroy her father’s company? Get married in front of all our friends like the way we got together wasn’t completely fucked? If I marry her, Francis wins. He’ll still have a Russo as an in-law. People will question why the fuck I’m not saving him when his company goes up in flames. It’ll be a goddamn mess!”
“Sure,” Luca said, seemingly unimpressed by my explanation. “But that doesn’t answer my question. Do you want to be with her?”
Forget Romano’s wrath. I was seconds away from giving into mine and strangling him with my bare hands.
If it weren’t for him, Francis wouldn’t have blackmailed me. If he hadn’t blackmailed me, I wouldn’t have gotten engaged to Vivian. If I hadn’t gotten engaged to Vivian, I wouldn’t have fallen—
Realization punched me in the chest, so hard and sudden I swore I heard a crack.
Bruised heart, fractured ribs, stolen breath, all in the space of a minute. It was like my body was punishing me for not recognizing the truth earlier when it’d been so damn obvious.
The way I’d stayed in bed longer every morning just to catch her first smile of the day.
The way our takeout lunch dates became my favorite part of the work week.
The way I’d opened up to her about my family, my life,myself…
Andthe way watching her walk away on Monday had cost me an irretrievable piece of my soul.
The breath left my lungs.
Somehow, somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with Vivian Lau.
Not like or lust.Love, in all its terrifying, unpredictable, unwanted glory.
Luca watched me process the realization, his expression equal parts amused and concerned. “That’s what I thought.”
Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK.
I rubbed a hand over my face, restless and unsettled.