“I’ll try.” My heart lifts a little, a tiny flicker of hope returning. If Ana saw something in Niall that made her think he loves me, that’s something to hold onto. Something to make me feel as if maybe everything isn’t lost.
We’re well into the city by then, and the car stops in front of what I immediately see is a luxurious-looking spa. My eyes go wide, and I glance back at Ana, thinking of the black credit card in my purse. “This is too much,” I say quickly, feeling guilty even at the thought of going in and spending an exorbitant amount on beauty treatments. “I can’t—”
“You can, and you should,” Ana says firmly. “You’ve been through a lot. You deserve to have a day where you’re pampered and can feel better.”
I glance at her curiously. “How do you know that?”
She smiles gently. “Like I said, Liam filled me in. But more than that, I can tell. I’ve been through a lot, too.”
To my surprise, she suddenly reaches down, slipping off the black leather ballet flat she’s wearing. She tilts her foot to one side, and I fight to keep my expression neutral as I see the sole of her foot.
It’s scarred to the point that I can’t imagine what would have caused that much damage, and I see instantly why she walks with a gait that doesn’t match the graceful rest of her. There’s thick scars and lumps of tissue, discolorations, two toes bent strangely, and I tear my gaze away before shock turns into staring, lifting my gaze to meet hers. Her face looks suddenly sad, a little tired, as if she’s remembering something that has sunk into her bones, a pain that she can’t ever entirely be rid of.
I know that feeling now, too, after Diego and Javier. It will never entirely leave me, no matter how far away I get.
“I very much know what it’s like to be owned by a man, Isabella,” Ana says quietly. “I know what it’s like to be nothing but a tool for their goals. I’ve been through it too.”
The door opens then as Clarke comes around, and she steps out gingerly, her shoe back on. She holds out a hand to me to help me out of the car, and when I take it, her blue gaze meets mine, full of sincerity.
“You’re not alone,” Ana says gently. “You have a friend here.”
9
ISABELLA
The day with Ana turns out to be better than I could have ever expected. We start out at the spa, getting facials and massages, finished off with a hammam bath in the steam room. I leave feeling loose-limbed and relaxed, as if all the tension and stress has been kneaded out of me, and it’s the best feeling I’ve had in a long time. Niall is always hovering in the back of my mind though, especially as I pull out the slim black credit card to pay for the services.
We go shopping for clothes next. I half expect to go to a big department store, but instead Ana takes me through a series of small designer shops, urging me to try on anything that catches my eye. I can’t quite shake the guilt that someone else is paying for all of this, but after a while I let myself enjoy it, at Ana’s urging.
“They like spoiling us,” she tells me firmly. “Liam is the same way. He took me on this huge shopping trip when I first came to stay with him. Niall knows perfectly well that you could make do with the furnishings already in the apartment and a few new clothes. He wants you to enjoy yourself. So don’t feel guilty.”
It’s hard not to, but I try my best to let myself relax. I mostly buy casual clothes—jeans, tops, a few wrap dresses, and plenty of soft lounge clothing for around the apartment, since I suspect I’ll be spending plenty of time there. At Ana’s suggestion, I also pick out two dresses that would be suitable for a nice dinner or a charity function, since she thinks Niall might have the opportunity to take me to at least one while we’re still together.
“As long as you’re married,” she says firmly, “if there’s some event he’s required to attend, he’ll bring you. You should have something nice to wear.”
I pick out shoes and a couple pieces of jewelry at the next few stores we go to. Laden down with bags, we return them to the car, and Ana nods down the street.
“I need to sit for a little while,” she says, wincing slightly as she shifts her weight on her feet. “Let’s get some lunch. How do you feel about sushi?”
“I’ve never had that,” I confess with a small laugh, and Ana grins.
“No time like the present to try it, then. Let’s go.”
She has Clarke drive us a few miles away to an Asian fusion restaurant that she says is one of her and Liam’s favorites. When we go inside, it’s cool and dark, a citrusy smell perfuming the air and soft music tinkling from the speakers in the ceiling. We’re taken to a corner booth with a view of the city, and Ana hands me a menu, perusing her own. “I haven’t had a drink in ages,” she says with a laugh. “I missed it while I was pregnant. Not partying so much, but just having a nice pairing with my food.”
“I’ve never really drank, other than a little wine. And tequila a few times.” I feel my cheeks heat a little, remembering the first night with Niall, how we’d drank tequila and kissed behind the bar, stumbling back into his hotel room. The beginning of all of this.
“Well, after you have the baby, I’ll take you to a nice wine bar I know of.” Ana glances over the menu. “Why don’t I order a handful of things, and we can share? That way you can figure out what it is that you like.”
“That sounds good to me.” I have no idea what on the menu I might enjoy, so I’m happy to set it aside, just asking for water with lemon as Ana orders a sake for herself, and puts in a food order with the waiter.
“You said you understood,” I say hesitantly when our food comes and we’re left alone for a little while. I poke at the orange strip of fish in front of me nervously. “About what I’ve gone through. How? I mean—you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to talk about it. It’s hard for me to even think for very long about what happened without feeling panicky. But if you can—”
“It’s been long enough now that it doesn’t feel as hard,” Ana says thoughtfully. “I was that way for a long time, though. Talking about it, thinking about it, it would make me have a panic attack. I didn’t want to go outside, to my doctor’s appointments, my physical therapy, any of it. It made it all so much harder than it had to be. And that’s just what happened to my feet.”
“There’s more?” I blink at her, instantly regretting my incredulity, but just the sight of her foot had been horrifying enough, to think of what could have caused injuries like that.
Ana laughs softly, ruefully. “Oh that was only the beginning. The injuries to my feet were quite a while ago now, when I tried to mess with Viktor’s Bratva and find out information for my best friend. I got caught by a mafia underboss working with them, and he destroyed my feet to send a message. I used to be a ballerina,” she adds, and there’s a twinge of bone-deep grief in her words, even now.