In my head, it was easy to see where this had begun. Mum and Dad didn’t have the happiest of relationships. I’d hear them screaming at each other, crying from the agony of it all, and I’d slip out of my bed, pad down the hall on little bunny feet, then slip into Mum and Dad’s bedroom. Dad kept his hankies in the bottom of his big antique wardrobe, and I’d hauled it open, wary of the sound, before grabbing two clean cotton squares as I heard their voices grow louder in the lounge room. Then I’d rush in, pressing one hankie, then another into their palms, because in my small child mind, that was what was needed to fix this.
I’d done that a lot growing up—taking on others’ feelings, worries, pain. It would stay with me long after the person who’d spewed it all out was gone, swirling around and around inside me, filling me up, forcing out my own emotions until all that was left was that pain. When another person brought their troubles to me, I hadn’t even thought to say no, enough, not any more right now. I sat there mutely, and they’d taken that as permission to unload.
I’d gone to therapy and learned how bloody co-dependant that was, so I tried to divorce that need to safeguard people’s emotional wellbeing with a much more practical need to get appropriate tasks done—tasks I got paid for now. Still, that rush of completing something? It beat hard and true inside me, even now.
“Max and I started something and…” Their collective gaze was a little unsettling to meet, so I didn’t. “We were just beginning to get somewhere and I…I need to see this through.”
“So if I’m hearing you correctly, you wish to see out your contract and organise the symposium with our help?” Tobias asked. I nodded mutely. “And you agree to us exploring the bond between us, with an understanding that physically, you will need us, and will come to need us more and more as things proceed.”
I blinked as I stared up at him, the way he described it sounding completely ridiculous as soon as I heard it, but I nodded anyway.
“Then this works out well for all of us.” He got to his feet and went over to his computer, unlocking it and then clicking through to something. “I had an email drafted to the department heads and HR, letting them know we’ll be temporarily relocating to Sydney for the next week or two, to get on top of the symposium situation.”
Tobias glanced over the screen at the two of us.
“You’ll have a hotel room booked out in your name, but that’s just to maintain appearances until such time as you’re willing to accept our bond.”
I looked up at Lucien, relieved to see him standing there with his mouth hanging open, just like mine.
“We’ll settle into the Sydney house, create a timetable for completing all the tasks set out in Max’s software, finding service providers to take on the bulk of the work and establish oversight processes. You’ll have your wish, Sage—we’ll follow your processes and work together to make this symposium a success.”
“And?” Lucien croaked out.
“And we’ll create a schedule for tending to our mate. She’s finding her way in her nature, and we need to assist with that, slowly and in cooperation with each other.”
Tobias’ voice was cool and clinical, so why did that make me shiver all the more in anticipation? Perhaps because at some point, he might be reduced down to a gasping mess, just like the rest of us.
“Just like that.” Lucien’s voice contained a pain I didn’t know, didn’t understand, but I searched his face for clues. “We’ll work together to see to our mate?”
“What other choice do we have, Lucien?” Tobias’ eyes grew hard in a way I hadn’t seen before. “Forgive me for reminding you, but it was you that said there was only her, only Sage.”
“She’s it for me.” Lucien shook his head hopelessly. “There won’t ever be anyone else.”
“She’s it for us,” Tobias said sharply, “because no matter what’s gone on before, we will be united in this—in looking after Sage, in making sure she has every damn thing she needs.”
“Just tell the others, and we’re gone.” Lucien’s arms went out at his sides. “I’ll pick up everything I need when we land in Sydney.”
Tobias nodded, then turned to me.
“You have your bag from the trip to Sydney. Is there anything else you wish brought with you? I’d prefer that you sent a list with one of our people to retrieve—”
“You’re not going anywhere alone,” Lucien snarled at me. “Not after—”
“I’ll make a list,” I replied.
So that washow we all ended up loaded into yet another private jet. Beau grinned the whole ride over, looking like the cat that got the cream, while I ended up wedged between Lucien and Tobias on the drive over, but Max? He just stared, his eyes flicking from me to each one of his brothers, even as we climbed into the jet.
Which made me wonder about him, about where he fit in all of this, because it seemed that all three of his brothers were making decisions without including him, again. I waited until we were in the air, when Lucien had finally released the death grip he had on my hand, especially as he was given a glass of Scotch to nurse instead. When Max got up to go to the bathroom, I waited for several minutes, then walked down the aisle to wait.
“Oh!” he said when he opened the door and saw me there. “Sorry, I didn’t realise…” His voice trailed away when I shook my head.
“I don’t need to use the loo.” I took a step closer, then stopped, feeling reticent all of a sudden. “I was worried about you.”
His eyes never seemed to stay still, roaming across my face, meeting mine, and then dropping down to rest on my lips.
“Worried about me?”
“They haven’t talked to you about anything they’ve decided.”