Can’t do anything tonight, I tapped out, my reply brusque to the point of rudeness, but right now, I didn’t care.Have to tee up a babysitter. Can’t host. Maybe tomorrow night?
There,I thought,that’ll put him off.
I let out a shuddering breath, tossing the phone down beside me, knowing that kind of strident tone would repulse an alpha. I was supposed to be an omega substitute, soft and pliable. Well, I wasn’t feeling all that pliant right now. So, when my screen lit up again, I picked up my phone with a huff of breath.
When you’re ready, you’ll find me,he replied.That’s when I’ll know you’re ready to surrender. And when you do, I’ll take you to places you’ve never been before. I like that, taking control of little betas, forcing them to feel the kind of pleasure they’ve only dreamed about.
And nothing more after that. No date, time, I’m leaving town by… I just stared at the message like it was some kind of sacred text containing the meaning of life or something, but then I realised this was probably exactly what the bastard wanted. I plugged my phone in and then turned off the lamp, determined to sleep.
But,of course, I couldn’t escape Ben, not even in my sleep, could I? The dream, when it came, broke my heart all over again.
I used to dream about Ben all the time when I was pregnant, but thankfully it had waned as the years went by. My body stiffened under my blankets, on the cusp of jerking to wakefulness, but something stopped me.
It was his scent I caught first, woody and musky and eminently male. I shifted against the sheets at that. Then came his breath, hot against the back of my skin, alerting my nerve endings, setting them quivering, before his kiss landed. Burning and scratchy with his stubble, it seared into me, just like a branding iron, asserting his claim.
“God, Lils…”
I hated that, the raspy growl of his voice, the sound vibrating through me. I hated the hot, heavy feel of him.
“You smell so good.”
I felt his nose pressing into my neck, heard him sucking in a breath, his hands sliding up to cup my breasts.
“Seeing you today…”
Oh no, oh god, no… Even subconscious Lily wasn’t on board with this kind of declaration, and I tried to twist in his arms, but he just held me tighter. I was pushed down onto the bed as he leaned over, pinning me with his body. The long, thick shaft of him pressed into my arse, questing for something else altogether, and when I started to struggle in earnest, my eyes flicked open.
I saw my room and theirs juxtaposed in that moment, Jasper and Logan standing in front of me, watching me get manhandled by their brother with a kind of rapt attention, two other shadowy figures stepping forward, almost close enough to see when—
Brrt! Brrt! Brrt!
I jolted awake, my eyes actually opening now and staring at the much more prosaic ceiling of my bedroom. My head throbbed, my eyes felt like they burned in their sockets, and then there was the pain inside me. Empty, hollow and tasting slightly of stomach acid, it was a harsh wake up call, but I craved that much more than the sensual torture of my dream. I rolled up into a seated position and scrubbed at my face.
So many mornings were like this. Not hungover, but feeling tired, bone tired, in a way that sleep couldn’t assuage, and I couldn’t seem to get in front of things. When I got up to go to the loo, my body was cramped up, the muscles too tight, always clenched, ready to move, to act. I hobbled like an old woman until I could get my body to loosen up and let me walk properly. But once I’d done what I needed to, I went to the sink to wash my hands, and that’s when I stared hard at myself.
I looked too young and too old, that’s what my reflection told me. My eyes were too wide, little girl lost ones that peered into the mirror, looking for someone to give her the answers. My face was too pale, a stark contrast with the dark bags under my eyes. But I made myself move, splashing water onto my face, slapping my hands against my cheeks. No matter what I saw in front of me, I knew what I had to do.
And so did Carmen, it appeared.
I walkedout into my kitchen to see her stationed at the gas cooker, whipping up another one of her high protein confections by the smell of it.
“Hello, darling,” she said, offering me a kiss when I came closer and gave her a hug. Her lips pressed against my cheek and then away again as she turned the omelette over.
“Nana’s here!” Evie announced from where she was sitting at the breakfast bar, munching on her French toast.
“So she is, and she’s made your favourite breakfast. Did you say thank you?”
“Of course.”
“She did too, my beautiful girl,” Carmen said, pressing a piping hot coffee into my hands. I fought the urge to kiss her again, taking a sip from the perfect French roast instead. “Sophie filled me in on the recent developments. Apparently, lawyers are getting involved.” She shot me a meaningful look before glancing back at Evie. “I thought I’d take our little princess out for a pamper day, give you a chance to get in front of things rather than waiting around for them to make the first move. Sophie has someone in mind who’s ready to start the negotiations and is supposed to be very good.”
I blinked at that, then frowned.
“Lawyers?”
“Packs are often very pushy,” she said with a censorious shake of her head, then turned around to slide the omelette onto a plate. It was pushed towards me along with some cutlery. I set the coffee down to take it, but couldn’t focus on the food. “Used to being petty kings of their tiny fiefdoms, I’m surprised you didn’t have them hammering down your door last night.”
My eyes slid across the living area to the hall beyond.