“You are very brave, taking this on yourself, but you’ll always be at a disadvantage. Children need boundaries and, as you’ve found, it’s very difficult for you to exert those with Evie. Is her father contactable?”
“No,” I said sharply, answering a question I’d been asked so often before. “He’d be off with his own pack, raising his own babies with his omega by now.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t do that to him and even if I wanted to, I can’t contact him.”
That was a lie. Taylor and Sophie were still together, living in a nice place in the next suburb over. He’d asked about my pregnancy, got all growly and protective when I wouldn’t tell him who the father was, until Sophie stepped in.
“If you want to be with me, you won’t ask or say anything else about who the father is,” she’d told him in a tone of perfect seriousness, one that had him blinking. “Promise me that, Taylor.”
“Well, what about the local alpha community?” the therapist said innocently enough. “I know there’s not many in town but—”
Her words faded abruptly as my face flushed and my hands tightened. I’d gotten more acquainted with aspects of the local alpha community than this woman could dream of. A beta who could take a knot? Let’s just say it made me a popular girl in certain circles. I tried not to indulge too often, only giving in when the heat under my skin got too much, forcing me to set up a reliable babysitter and rent out a room with meticulous care, getting him, or them in and out, our needs satisfied with ruthless efficiency before I returned back to sleep alone in my bed.
“No,” I’d replied. “I have to find another way.”
Which was what had landed me this referral to a specialist clinic at Crowe Corp.
“Evie!” I called out as I stared out the window, watching the magpies play out on the front garden. “Are you done with your breakfast?”
“Yes, Mum,” she replied and I heard the sound of her dishes being rinsed, then put into the dishwasher.
I walked back into the kitchen and then broke the news to her.
“You’ll only have a half day today at school anyway.”
“Really! Are we going to Nana’s work again?”
“Sort of. There’s some people who are doctors like Nana and they would like to meet you. They’ve heard what a special girl you are so I thought we’d go and have a chat with them.”
My tone was bright and brisk, trying to stir enthusiasm in my daughter, but as per usual, her expression was complex. Because my Evie, my baby girl, she liked very much being different and unique enough that it got adults’ attention.
Almost as much as she hated it.
“It’ll be fine,” I reassured her as her face fell. “We’ll go, see what they have to say and then we’ll get cake shakes from Greasy Joe’s afterwards.”
“A triple chocolate mud cake one?” she asked, clapping her hands, a broad grin splitting her face, looking all the world like a normal child right now.
“As long as you aren’t sick like last time,” I grumbled. “I swear, the car still smells of sour milk and cake.”
“I won’t, Mum! I’ll go and get dressed in my uniform right now! So you’ll come and get me at lunch time?”
I watched her skip away, my heart in my throat, hating that we had to do this. If I'd known… If I’d had any idea what was coming when I decided to have my child…
I’d have had Evie no matter what, I knew that in the bone deep way of so many mothers, but I fished out my phone and opened Howlr, an alpha dating app I used often, as I waited. I swiped past face after face, each one a specimen of square jawed, ultra manliness, but way too many of them were familiar to me and therefore instant swipe lefts. Then I saw him.
The green eyes were haunting and rather than the usual cocky smile, he just stared into the camera, piercing the lens and me with his gaze. I took in the longish light brown hair that looked like it’d just been shoved back from his face and the stubble gracing his strong jaw, but that’s not what had my thumb hovering. It was those full lips, slightly parted, like he was about to say something, anything…
Reed, his profile said.In town for only a week, looking for a hookup. Women only.
Perfect, I thought, then swiped right.
“Mum, I’m ready!” Evie bounced back into the room, her uniform on, but her socks were all crooked and her shirt was untucked.
“Come here,” I said, gesturing her forward and crouching down to set her to rights.
“You’re going to try hard today?” I asked, staring into my beautiful girl’s face. She had her father’s bright blond hair, but my deep brown eyes, though they were filled with what I assumed was a Ben-like determination, because it didn’t feel like she got that from me.
“Of course, Mum,” she said and threw herself into my arms. I held her close and squished her until she giggled, almost tempted to give in and let her come to the shop with me this morning.
But one slip and she’d be pushing for the same every damn morning, like a tiny steamroller.