He glanced up at her and appeared to study her face. “You okay?”
She turned her back and headed to the kitchen, where she spooned coffee into the filter basket. “I’m fine,” she called.
Julian’s iPhone whooshed as he sent texts or IMs from the next room. Overcome with an inexplicable sadness, she leaned against the counter and watched the coffee drip into the pot, bit by bit. She prepared their mugs as she always did. Julian took the coffee, but he didn’t look up from his phone.
“Hello?” she said, trying unsuccessfully to mask her irritation.
“Sorry, just a text from Leo. He asked me to call him right away.”
“By all means . . .” She knew her tone made it clear she meant the exact opposite.
He peered at her and, for the first time since arriving, put the phone in his pocket. “No, I’m here right now. Leo can wait. I want us to talk.”
He paused for a moment, as though waiting for her to say something. It felt like a strange flashback to their early dating days, although she didn’t ever remember feeling this kind of awkwardness or distance before, not even in the beginning when they were practically strangers.
“I’m all ears,” she said, wanting nothing more than for him to envelop her in a bear hug, announce his undying love for her, and swear that life would immediately go back to normal. Back to boring and poor and predictable. Back to happy. And while that was unlikely—and she really didn’t want that anyway, since it would mean the end of Julian’s career—she would have loved for him to initiate a real conversation about the challenges they’d been facing and a strategy for dealing with them.
“Come here, Rook,” he said with such tenderness that her heart surged.
Oh, thank god. He got it, he also felt the strain of their never seeing each other, and he wanted to figure out how to make it better. She felt a glimmer of hope.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she said softly, hoping she conveyed an open, receptive feel. “It’s been a hard few weeks, hasn’t it?”
“It has,” Julian said in agreement. He got that familiar look in his eye. “Which is why I think we deserve a vacation.”
“A vacation?”
“Let’s go to Italy! We’ve been talking about going forever, and October is the perfect time of year. I think I can manage six or seven days off starting the end of next week. I just have to be back before the Today show. We’ll hit Rome, Florence, Venice . . . take a gondola ride and pig out on pasta and wine. Just you and me. What do you say?”
“That sounds amazing,” she said, before she remembered that Randy and Michelle’s baby was due next month.
“I know how much you love cured meats and cheeses.” He teased her, giving Brooke a poke. “Salted meats and hunks of Parmesan to your heart’s content.”
“Julian—”
“If we’re going to do it, let’s just freaking go for it. I’m thinking we should fly first-class. White tablecloths, endless champagne, flat-bed seats. Really treat ourselves.”
“It sounds incredible.”
“Then why are you looking at me like that?” He pulled his knit cap off and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Because I don’t have any vacation days left, and it’s right in the middle of the semester for the Huntley girls. Do you think we could go over Christmas instead? If we left on the twenty-third, it would give us almost—”
Julian released her hand and collapsed back into the couch with a loud, frustrated exhalation. “I have no idea what will be happening in December, Brooke. I know I can go now. I just can’t believe you’d let something like that get in the way of an opportunity like this.”
Now it was her turn to stare at him. “‘That’ happens to be my job. Julian, I’ve taken off more days this year than anyone. There is no way I can just march in there and ask for another week off. I would be fired immediately.”
His eyes were steely when they met hers. “Would that really be so bad?”
“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”
“No, I’m serious, Brooke. Would that be the worst thing in the world? Between Huntley and the hospital, you’ve been killing yourself. Is it so horrible to suggest that you take some time off?”
Everything was spinning out of control. No one knew better than Julian that Brooke needed to get through one more year before she’d hopefully be opening her own practice. Not to mention how close she’d grown to a couple of the girls, especially Kaylie.
She took a deep breath. “It’s not horrible, Julian, but it’s not happening. You know I only need one more year and then—”
“So what if it’s just a temporary break?” he interrupted, waving his hands. “My mom thought they’d probably even hold your job for you if that’s what you wanted, but I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s not like you’d never find another—”
“Your mom? Since when do you talk to your mother about anything?”
He looked at her. “I don’t know, I was just telling them how tough it is being away from each other all the time, and I thought she had some good ideas.”
“That I should quit my job?”
“Not necessarily quit, Brooke, although if you wanted to do that, I’d totally support you. But maybe time off is the answer.”
She couldn’t imagine it. Of course, the idea of being entirely unencumbered with schedules and shifts and cramming in as many extra hours as possible sounded heavenly—who wouldn’t want that? But she genuinely loved her work, and she was excited to be her own boss one day. She’d already thought of a name—Healthy Mom & Baby—and could perfectly envision how she wanted the website to look. Brooke even had the logo figured out: it was going to be two sets of feet, standing side by side, one obviously a mother’s with just a hand reaching down to hold the hand of a toddler.
“I can’t, Julian,” she said, reaching over to take his hand despite the anger she felt toward him for not understanding. “I’m doing my best to be a part of everything that’s happening to your career, to share in all the excitement and craziness, but I have a career, too.”
He appeared to be thinking about this, but then he leaned over and kissed her. “Have a sit and a think, Rook. Italy! For a week.”