When I went to grab a few pairs of more basic underwear, he shut the drawer abruptly, staring down at me.
“Well, we wouldn’t want to interfere with your routine.”
“Fen…” I said in irritation, trying to open it, but he wouldn’t let up. I tried again, but he still stubbornly refused to let me open it, so I stalked off to my wardrobe, pulling out yoga pants, T-shirts, and a jumper, maybe a pair of jeans, just in case we went somewhere, and shoved them in a duffle bag.
“Oh, this we are definitely taking.”
Here’s the thing. Teenage Riley would have just about wet her pants to have Fen Vanguard in her bedroom. Like, sacrificing small animals to dark gods would not have been too much in that regard. But right now, if I could make him disappear with just one look, I would’ve without a thought, as he’d transferred his attention to my bedside drawers.
“For fuck’s sake, that’s none of your business!”
Vibrators were tossed down onto the bed with gay abandon, a few he examined more closely as if trying to work out what they were used for, which pretty much sent me into a fit of hysterics. I swept up as many pink or purple silicone implements of self-pleasure as I could and sought to drop them back into the drawer, when he got right up in my face.
“You’re gonna need something to take the edge off,” he promised in a dark voice.
“No, I’m fucking not.” I knew what alpha hearing was like. Even though I had a very good selection of discreetly quiet vibes, they wouldn’t be quiet enough for them.
“The first night you let Haze and Colt come into your dreams to satisfy you,” he said, flicking up one finger. “The second, Blake helped satisfy you.” He herded me back against the wall, grabbing my wrists when I went to jerk away and staring down at me. “You’re gonna get all hot and wet—”
“Fuck, Fen, would you shut the fuck up?”
“I’m an alpha, baby. It’s my job to see to all your needs. Do I want to be the one to do it?” His eyes slid down my body, and then he grinned that slow, toothy thing of his. “Fuck yeah, I do, but you’re not ready and I’m not letting you go without until you are. We don’t have to take any of the fun toys with us, but we all smell how you respond to us, know how you feel.” He moved in closer, so close, I could feel his breath on my face. “You want Blake to look after you again? Or Colt? He wouldn’t stop smiling for a week if you let him do that.”
“So what, you want to feed me, fill me full of alcohol, and then get me off so I sleep the slumber of the well sated?” I asked, a crazy little edge coming into my voice. “Are you for fucking real?”
“An alpha sees to his mate’s needs, all of them. Right now, we’re looking after your body, because that’s what you’ll let us do.” He shifted closer so I could feel the heat of his body. “Then, when you’re used to that—”
I jerked my hands free and slid down the wall and out through the small gap between us, scuttling backwards in my own damn room. I picked up Mr Buzzy, my most trusty of vibes, held it up, and conspicuously dropped him in the bag.
“There. Needs taken care of. Now for the love of god, can we move on?”
“Well, I was going to ask what this—?” he started with a grin.
“The internet,” I snapped, grabbing something to change into before heading to the bathroom. “It’s a magical thing that will show you exactly what you do with each one of them. Just put them back in the drawer when you’re done.”
When I switched on the light in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I saw a woman on the edge. The wolf inside me paced back and forth, whining meaningfully. My face was flushed, my hair was a mess, and my eyes were wide and unblinking. I shook my head, turned the taps on, and splashed my face, hoping to get my shit together before I went back out there.
As soon as I took a deep breath, I could see what an incredibly privileged position I was in. Most women would literally kill to be in this situation, but… As I gripped the sink, consciously slowing my breathing, I knew what was happening. I closed my eyes for just a second, my head hanging low, because the pack, they were wearing me down.
I could easily imagine putting on one of my date night sets of lingerie and nothing else, stalking out into the lounge room of wherever they were staying, and just watching their eyes flash silver as they set upon me, ready to devour me. I lifted my head, staring into the mirror. What would that be like? And that was the most dangerous thought of all.
This was when the scales began to tip in the pack’s favour, when I stopped trying to fight all the damn time. My defence mechanisms were able to be dismantled with such ease, needing only a few nice words, some hot kisses, yummy food, and a truly amazing hand job. I’d worked really hard to keep them at a distance, but the walls, they just came crumbling down.
I got out of my work gear and pulled on my clothes, the cotton of this shirt worn so smooth, the weave of it was semi-transparent. Well worth going into the rag bin, but I could never seem to bring myself to toss it. I marched out into the bedroom to the sight of Fen sitting on the end, his eyes taking me in like I was wearing couture or something.
“Damn, Red—”
“Ring your boys and see what they want on their pizza,” I ordered.
“We were gonna—”
“Sunny’s Pizza is the best pizza in the city, and it’s my Friday ritual. It’s gotten to the point that they’ll probably send the cops around for proof of life if they don’t hear me order in tonight.”
He nodded and then fished out his phone.
“Meat lovers for me, and I’ll check with the guys.”
As he sauntered over, I rifled through my drawers, pulling out the green set of lingerie and then stuffing it in my bag, just in case, before zipping that sucker up. When I came out, he rattled off a long list of pizzas, and I made the order. Joe, the owner, and I indulged in a little chit-chat before I hit him with the list.