Her voice was quiet as she spoke. “I haven’t… I haven’t been to one.”
“What’d you just say?”
She was digging her fingers into her thighs, and she wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I haven’t been to a doctor yet.”
My head felt like it might explode. I pulled a piece of glass out of her flesh and gritted my teeth when she whimpered. “You’re almost four months pregnant and you haven’t been to a doctor. How do you know you’re healthy, Winnifred? You know the things that can go wrong.”
“Can you call someone to get her in today?” Beck’s voice was strained as he spoke.
“I can figure it out.” I pulled more glass out and then took the towel that Jack handed me. “Would you prefer a male or female doctor?”
“I… I’m…” She tried to hop off the table and even struggled when I caught her in my arms. My chest ached painfully when I saw her bloodshot eyes fill with tears, and it just about cracked open when she started openly sobbing.
“Kidnapping seems fine.” Jack looked around the kitchen and scrubbed his hands through his hair. “Especially when she’s not taking care of herself.”
“I’ll get Bird. I’m assuming the little criminal already has her go bag packed.” Beck grunted and leaned in to capture Winnie’s face. “You have no idea how angry I am at you. The amount of control I’m exhibiting right now to not shout this house down is astronomical. The talk we’re going to have when we get home is going to make your head spin.”
50
Beck
Iwasgoingtohave to buy a mini-van. Or maybe a fucking bus. I looked at Winnie through the rearview mirror and ground my teeth together. By the time we got to Sawyer’s office, I probably wouldn’t even have teeth left. I’d been rough with her, and it was eating away at me. Well, notroughas much as harsh. She was still crying, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was my fault. It didn’t matter how angry I was at her. I should’ve been calmer.
Jack and Birdie sat on either side of Winnie, and Sawyer was next to me in the front, his leg bouncing. The truck was full, and we were missing five kids—six, if you counted the baby. What vehicle was going to hold seven kids and four adults? I was going to have to get a special license to drive whatever it was.
It was stupid that my brain was focused on the logistics of travel in that moment, but I couldn’t think about the fact that Winnie had known she was pregnant for months and hadn’t been planning on telling us. Or about the fact that the U.S. had an above-average death rate for births. Or about how she’d been alone all this time, without us, while feeling who knew what. She clearly wasn’t okay.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Birdie’s quiet voice was so unlike her that I got angry again. She’d been hurting, too.
Winnie sat up straighter and wiped her eyes. For the first time since seeing her in her kitchen, she almost looked like our Winnie again when she looked at Birdie. “No, baby. You didn’t make me cry. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I tattled on you.”
Jack snorted but remained silent other than that.
“That’s okay. You did the right thing. You were brave.” Winnie’s voice cracked, but she controlled it. “You were brave when I couldn’t be.”
I frowned and took the exit I needed. What did that mean? Why did she need to be brave to tell us she was pregnant? Had we not made it abundantly clear that we were crazy about her?
“Are we going to be a family now?”
When Winnie didn’t answer right away, Jack growled. “Yeah, Bird. We’re going to be a family now.”
“Cool! I can’t wait to tell Olive. Grandma was right.”
Winnie opened her mouth but snapped it closed when she saw my look from the mirror. I was going to shout if she tried to say we weren’t going to be a family.
“Your grandma and Gabe are meeting us at the doctor’s office to pick you up. We thought it would be fun for you and the other kids to hang out together tonight.” Sawyer turned to look at Winnie. “Your mother is going to be with us, talking boring adult stuff.”
“You told my mom?” Winnie sat up, and for a second it looked like she was considering jumping out of the truck.
“No. Someone else did.”
Birdie tried to whistle as she looked out the truck window, but it came out as mostly air with a tiny peep of a sound. Winnie sank back in her seat, looking smaller than ever. I kept an eye on her, and when we parked outside the front entrance of the office, Gabe and Sunshine were already waiting on us. Jack barely got out of the way before Sunshine was in the backseat, holding her daughter.
I looked at Birdie and tilted my head. “Scram, kid.”
She stuck her tongue out before jumping out and running to Gabe. He caught her and flashed her a smilee, but his eyes were full of worry as he looked after his best friend. Judging from the redness around his own eyes, he’d been crying, too.