“Laughed at me.” She wiped her eyes and grinned. “Kicked our bags right back inside and scooped you up onto his shoulders. He’d been working overtime to buy our first home.: ns trailer. He made love to me for hours that night.”
“Mom, god.” I shook my head to get the images away, but I couldn’t help smiling at the idea of Dad laughing at her. “Was he hurt?”
Her eyes lowered to her hands and she nodded. “He was upset with himself, and I had to watch him beat himself up over it while knowing that it was all my fault. If I’d just stopped and paid a little bit of attention, I would’ve known that your dad loved me to death. I got an idea in my head and couldn’t let go of it, though.”
I rested my chin on my knees and sighed. “I don’t think that’s what’s happening here, Mom.”
“I would’ve said the same thing.” She crawled out of the closet and thrust her hand in at me. “One thing about us is that we’re sneakily stubborn. It takes a lot to convince us we’re wrong once we’ve made up our minds.”
I let her pull me out of the closet and into a hug. “Do you think I could take some of Dad’s clothes with me?”
“Of course.” She squeezed me before letting me go. “As long as you listen to your father and give those men a chance.”
“I’m interviewing for a teaching position an hour away tomorrow.” I twisted my hands together and sighed. It didn’t feel as good as I wanted it to. “I’m going to sell the house.”
“Do what you need to do, Freddie. Just make sure you give your men a chance to kick your suitcases back inside.”
I stayed the night at Mom’s house again. I left while Birdie was still asleep and Mom was sitting on the front porch with a mug of coffee and an erotic novel. She tipped her book to me and wished me good luck before I got into Big Ham and headed home.
The house felt even colder while I got ready and printed out the forms I had to fill out for the job. I forced myself to eat some dry cereal while I filled them out, and then I set out on an hour-long drive in the opposite direction of the men.
48
Winnie
GabewatchedBirdiestompup the stairs and whistled. “Still pissed, huh?”
I stared after my child as I rubbed my back. “Yeah. She hasn’t spoken to me in almost two weeks.”
Two of the longest weeks of my life. Each and every day had been torture. I'd had to force myself to do each and every little thing necessary. Brushing my teeth was even a challenge. I missed the guys more than I thought possible. It made me realize that maybe I'd never loved Matthew, because I'd never felt that sort of pain over him.
Forcing myself to stay away from them, keeping my hands away from my phone when all I wanted to do was answer their calls, it was all terrible. I couldn't remember ever being so depressed. Things were going the way I wanted them to, supposedly, but I wanted to run away from my life, screaming.
I'd gotten the teaching job. I'd found a cheap apartment to rent in the same town. I was in the process of getting out from under the house that Matthew had forced on me. The new job had even better pay than what I'd received at Stand Elementary. It didn't matter, though. I was miserable and just as angry at myself as Birdie was at me.
“It’s almost like she’s giving you the same silent treatment you’re giving the guys.” Gabe lowered my compact and pointed a pair of tweezers at me. “Which I don’t support, if you didn’t know.”
“You only say it fourteen times a day, Gabriel. You and everyone else. I get it.” I shoved a stack of folded clothes in a box and tipped my neck from side to side to stretch. Being nearly four months pregnant and packing didn’t work out. My body ached. My everything ached.
“You aren’t happy.”
I pushed myself off the couch and groaned. “Gabe. Please, don’t do this again. I’m—”
“Pregnant.” Gabe’s voice was a mix between horrified and shocked as he stared at my stomach. I’d been able to mostly avoid seeing him in person since my stomach dropped. It seemed like there was no more hiding it, though. “You’re fucking pregnant!”
I practically dove across the couch at him to wrap my hand over his mouth and shake my head wildly. “I’m not pregnant. Keep your voice down,please!”
Gabe pushed me backwards onto the couch and easily pinned me like we’d been wrestling every day for our whole friendship. He yanked up my shirt and screamed at the top of his lungs. “Oh, my god!”
I glared up at him. “Gabriel! Get off me!”
He jumped off the couch and pulled me up just to cup my stomach. “You’re pregnant, bitch!”
I smacked his forehead without thinking. “What the heck, Gabe? Stop shouting that!”
He gripped my hands and pulled me into the hallway bathroom. We were crammed into the powder room, basically on top of each other. “Sorry about calling you a bitch. I got excited. I’m just floored, Winnie. When? How? Who? Does Birdie not know? The guys?”
I watched his eyes widen as he slowly put the pieces together. “No one knows. No onecanknow, Gabe.”