I struggled to keep my emotions at bay as I watched him. “I’m glad you’re here.”
He tipped Olive over and set her on her feet. “Go and make sure your brother is ready to go, O.”
She ran off happily and joined the rest of the kids as they circled my mom, who had turned her focus on Sawyer and Jack. None of them noticed as Beck turned me around and led me back into the house.
37
Winnie
Iwipedatmyeyes, annoyed at myself for showing my emotions and at how many emotions I had those days. I paid no attention as he marched me to the other side of Sawyer’s huge house and into one of the guest room bathrooms. It wasn’t until the door was locked and Beck was holding me against his chest that I realized how hungry I was for him. My swinging mood wasn’t new, unfortunately. It was a sign of what was coming and what I was ignoring.
Beck had been gone for two days on a shoot and I had missed him, but it was just sinking in how much. Our normal daily lunch breaks hadn’t happened during those two days, of course, but he’d texted me and let me know he was thinking of me. My tears weren’t even dry when I went up on my toes and pressed my mouth to his.
It was a desperate kiss. I didn’t care when our teeth bumped together or I missed the center of his lips. It was driven by pure hunger, and nothing else mattered in those moments. He lifted me onto the bathroom counter and moved between my legs. I yanked at his shirt, trying to get it off even as he pushed up my dress and yanked my panties to the side. His fingers filled me and I cried out.
Beck nipped my lip and pressed his forehead to mine. “You have to stay quiet, Kitten.”
I redirected my hands and yanked his pants open. I had his erection in my hands and out of his pants in record time. Having what I wanted so close, I pulled his hand to my mouth. I was going to need help staying quiet after missing him for two days.
He pulled his fingers out of me and then thrust his dick in hard while holding my mouth tightly to muffle the sounds of my whimpers. With his other hand, he yanked my hips to the edge of the counter and lifted my thigh around his waist. Thrusting hard and fast, we both hurtled towards release. I dug my nails into his chest and screamed when I came the moment he touched my clit. He came right after me, filling me with his seed while he held me tight.
My body buzzed with energy as I clung to him just as tightly. The desperation I’d felt, and the warmth that had washed over me when he stood in front of me, so proud of not letting Olive and me down, had cracked open the wall I’d been trying to keep up. As we stared into each other’s eyes, both of us breathing heavily, I admitted to myself that I cared about them. They mattered to me.
Beck uncovered my mouth and kissed me, gently that time. He slowly moved his lips to my ear, and I felt him hesitate before speaking. “I missed you.”
My heart thumped harder in my chest. “I missed you, too.”
“I left the shoot early. I couldn’t stand the idea of you looking at me like I was no different from your ex. You make me want to be better for Olive.”
Fat tears instantly filled my eyes and poured over. Pressing my face into his shoulder, I couldn’t stop them from coming as I thought of the baby growing in my body, pressed right up against Beck. He would never be like Matthew. It was too bad that I wouldn’t be able to experience it.
A light knock sounded at the door and Jack’s voice called out. “The kids are about to revolt. We need to leave before Birdie starts bullying Sawyer.”
Beck fixed our clothes with one hand and opened the door for Jack while still holding me. “I don’t know what I did.”
Jack stroked my hair back from my face and swore when he saw my eyes. “I hate it when you cry, baby. Nothing makes me feel so fucking useless. What’s wrong?”
“Birdie just mentioned age spots and looked at me. I’m done. That kid is on a different level.” Sawyer walked right into the bathroom, having left before Birdie could bully him, and then froze. “I thought this was a welcome home fun thing. Why are you crying? Why is she crying?”
I couldn’t help laughing at the pure panic on their faces. They were so special, and I was going to miss them so much when I had to walk away. I dreaded the moment I started showing, because it meant my time with them was over. That thought had me crying hard again.
“Oh, god. Um.” Sawyer looked around the bathroom like he was going to find something to fix me in the bathroom cabinet. “Do you need water?”
Jack smacked him. “She’s not a fucking plant. But…Doyou need water?”
I went back to laughing and gave them a watery smile as Beck wiped my eyes. My heart was definitely on my sleeve as I looked at each of them. “I’m okay. I just… It’s silly. I know this has an expiration date, and that’s fine. I just got sad thinking about it. That’s more honest than I wanted to be, though, so can we just… forget this happened? There are a bunch of kids waiting for us to show up for them.”
The floored look on their faces told me what I already knew. They weren’t looking for serious. They didn’t want serious. They’d been clear about that from the first night.
“Go on. I just need a minute to get cleaned up.” I pushed Beck away and hopped off the counter. “Out with all of you.”
Sawyer stopped in the doorway and looked back at me. “You mean more than whatever it is you think you mean to us, Win.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and closed the door, forcing out the idea that there was a chance of anything real between us. It was stupid to hope. I was already three months pregnant. I had to start thinking about what was coming.
38
Winnie