None of it made sense. I’d decided to stay away from the men just hours earliero, but when they looked at me the way they did, I was weak. I forgot everything else, if only for a little while, and just experienced the carnal side of myself. It was so unlike me, but it felt so good in the moment.
“One of the other photographers took a corporate job that required shots of their building. They wanted it to be artistic, but not too artistic. I turned it down because that’s not what I do, but now I’m dealing with it anyway, because, of course, they’re unhappy with the final shots we gave them. It’s almost as if they didn’t realize that what we do here is art, whether we’re doing it for magazines, museums, or mega corporations with no souls.
“The shots are good. I wouldn’t have brought on the photographer if their work wasn’t great. They’re unhappy, though, because they think it makes them look too soft. I shit you not. They saidsoft. Pretty sure they were seconds from using homophobic slurs, but that would’ve gotten them tossed out of the meeting via the window.”
Sawyer grunted. “Assholes.”
“Yeah. Assholes that I need to make happy.” Staring down at the worktable, Beck worked his jaw muscles and sighed. “Soft. Stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.”
I inched closer, wanting to see the shot.
Beck noticed and nodded. “Come here. Everyone else made their opinion known. Tell me what you think.”
“I’m not a photographer, Beck. I don’t know…” I was moving closer even as I said it. I trailed off as I stood over a beautiful shot of an architectural masterpiece. The company’s building had been captured in the morning sun, and the sky reflected off of the glass slanted roof like a mirror. I tilted my head as I studied it, and then frowned.
“What?”
I looked over at the shot hanging on Beck’s wall of the truck in the field, then back at the building. There was a difference in style and composition, but more than that, there was a grittiness to Beck’s work. It wasn’t necessarily pretty. The angle and way he shot the image should’ve been off, but it worked despite that, or maybe because of it. I’d noticed in Beck’s other shots, too, that he shot things in a way that felt almost uncomfortable. I didn’t know exactly how to describe it, but there was magic in the man’s eye and camera.
“Did you break her?”
I stuck my tongue out at Sawyer and then pointed to the shot of the building. “They wanted you to do it.”
“Yeah, but this shot is just as good as anything I would’ve done. It’s beautiful.”
I smiled and shook my head. “There’s nothing wrong with this shot. It’s stunning, and I’d hang it up in a heartbeat. It’s not what they wanted from the start, though, if they came here for you. Your work isn’t… this.”
Beck frowned and looked me over. “What do you mean?”
I chewed on my lip for a minute and looked back at Sawyer. As if sensing my nervousness to speak openly, he nodded and smiled. Looking up at Beck, I shrugged as if I wasn’t getting into territory that could be too personal. “Your work isn’t pretty in the traditional sense. When I look at it, it’s deeper than that. There’s an awkwardness to it that makes me linger and want to dig in. The angles that you capture are just a bit too sharp, a bit too rough. Somehow, it’s absolutely stunning, but it’s not this. This is beautiful, but it’s not more than that. It falls flat, despite how amazing the building is.
“If those men hadn’t come in looking foryourwork, they would’ve been happy with this.” I looked back at the truck in the field and shrugged again. “You served them steak, but they wanted slow-smoked, messy-on-your-face barbeque.”
The room was silent, and I bounced on my feet as I realized I’d probably said too much. It’d probably been offensive.
Clasping my hands together, I inched towards the door. “Well. Okay, then. I have to man the front desk or Lauren will start itching. Says she’s allergic to the public.”
Neither of them stopped me as I rushed out of there, sad that I might’ve hurt Beck’s feelings. I should have been happy to escape with my panties intact. I needed to get it through my head that I couldn’t play sexy with them. It didn’t matter how much it seemed like we all wanted the same thing. I was carrying a secret that they could never know, and one that probably made me an awful person for keeping. That didn’t mix with secret trysts and hot affairs.
I had to roll my eyes at myself, because I wasn’t someone who had hot affairs. Whatever was happening with the guys was clearly some kind of weird shift in the universe, and it would go back to normal sooner rather than later.
I ended up leaving the office before the guys came out of Beck’s office that day, and I took that as my sign.
25
Winnie
Thenextafternoonatwork, I was just settling in to read the collection of articles I’d saved about Beck’s work. The office was quiet because Beck had flown out of town for a shoot for the day. He wasn’t supposed to be gone for very long, but I was doing my best to ignore his absence—and the fact that we hadn’t said anything to each other since I’d maybe accidentally criticized his work.
Jack sent me a message telling me that my car was ready and I should stop by the shop. I didn’t even remember giving him my number the day I’d dropped my car off. I then spent a few hours overthinking why he hadn’t messaged me before then, even after I’d stopped by and we’d had sex.
Sawyer was also playing through my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d looked at me while sliding me down his strong body the day before. The same fire was still there between us.
I spent the day annoyed at myself. I shouldn’t have been spending my time obsessing over the three of them. They were off limits. Yet every open spot of my time and focus went to them. It was infuriating. I was just starting to consider hitting my head against my keyboard a few hundred times when the phone rang.
Thankful for a distraction, I answered in my most polite voice. “Myers Photography. How can I help you?”
“Win?” Beck’s voice sounded muffled, and I could hear his frustration even through the bad connection. “I’m sorry to have to ask you this, but I need a huge favor.”