Gabe screamed in my ear and squeezed my head under his armpit. “Oh! He loves when you give in! Is Mr. Beck Myers a dominant lover, you sneaky little skank?! How have you not said anything?”
I shook my head and groaned. “Shut up, Gabe.”
I was saved from further embarrassment by Mom showing up with Birdie. They were both covered in glitter, and Gabe instantly jumped up with his hands extended, trying to stop the impending glitter shed.
Before he could reach them, both Mom and Birdie grinned at each other and shook their bodies out like a couple of dogs, all to the soundtrack of Gabe shouting. Birdie cackled ominously while Mom winked at her and came over to sit next to me on the couch, despite Gabe’s protests.
“Andthat’show you get revenge for someone leaving an open yogurt container in your car in the middle of the summer.” Mom would never let that go.
Gabe gasped. “I hadn’t even hit puberty yet!”
Mom wrapped her arm around me and hugged me. “Pride is coming up fast, Gabriel. This will just get you in the mood.”
Gabe hesitated and then sighed before sinking down next to her. “Yeah, you’re right. I was already thinking about my outfit for the parade this year.”
I tuned out as they discussed whether we should all wear matching outfits and looked over my message thread with Beck again. I hadn’t responded to him at all, because I wasn’t sure what to say. Knowing I was going to see him in just a few days, though, I moved my fingers over the screen, not hitting any keys, but thinking about it. Finally, I gave in.
W: To be clear, this is just me giving in to the desk job.
B: Seems to me like that works just fine.
I felt my cheeks darken and looked up to find Birdie standing in front of me, a suspicious look on her face. She watched as I tucked my phone under my thigh and tapped her chin. Since watching a spy documentary with Gabe, she’d decided everything was a mystery waiting for her to solve it.
“You got laid?”
I choked and slapped my chest as I struggled to breathe. Turning narrowed eyes to my mother and my best friend, I studied them to see which one had been loose-lipped, but both of them looked guilty.
“Mom, it’s not a big deal. I’m seven. I know things. I’ll probably get laid in a few years, too.” Birdie rolled her eyes and strolled into the kitchen to get herself a juice. When she came back to a still-stunned room, she sighed. “I can get laid, too, Mom. I saw it on a movie. I’m going to fly on a plane and then get laid when I get off.”
Gabe gasped and then cleared his throat. “That’s right! Getting laid is the best in Hawaii. We saw it in that movie about the twins, right?”
Birdie rolled her eyes even more dramatically. “Duh. I never saw Mom’s flowers, though.”
Mom snorted. “Oh, honey, those were gone a long time before you came into the world.”
18
Winnie
Myfirstweekofworking for Beck was seamless. Beck was out of town on an assignment, apparently, and the office was slow when he was out. Lauren actually made time to sit with me at my desk and talk to me about everything that happened at the office.
Beck was an impressive businessman. He’d turned his art into a massively successful brand, and he employed several other photographers too. He was the apple of everyone’s eye, which made me feel slightly awkward. I just saw him as Beck, the man I’d accidentally slept with multiple times and who I wasn’t going to sleep with again.
That was the big decision I made after taking the job. I’d work for him, but I wouldn’t work for himandcontinue sleeping with him. Not that I even knew for sure that he wanted to sleep with me. He still sent me a text once a day, but it was never explicit in nature. I didn’t know how he worked. Maybe he was like that with all the women he slept with because he thought that was what they wanted. I didn’t have a clue. Seeing the women in the office go all heart-eyed over him made me especially sure that I didn’t want to sleep with him, though. I didn’t want to join them in their hero worship and get my feelings hurt.
I liked the people who worked in the office, for the most part. Some of them were like the artistic types I went to school with, who veered towards moodiness, but most of them were kind to me. I stood out like a sore thumb among them in the elevator. They were all sleek and cool, while I was still dressing like I always did. My floor-length dresses and combat boots, both splattered with paint some days, were a far cry from the tight dresses and smart suits that everyone else wore. I didn’t mind it, though. I didn’t have the confidence to wear one of Lauren’s skintight dresses. Plus, I was pretty sure that my butt in one of them would get me a ticket for public indecency. Lauren just didn’t have the same caboose as me. I’d learned quickly in school that tight clothes on a body with curves made men think they could touch without asking.
That was one of the main reasons I hoped Birdie took after her father as she grew older. There were people in the world who assumed that curves made a woman easy and underserving of respect. Birdie deserved so much more than that. I wanted better for her. I wanted her to be able to lead with her stunning personality and killer instincts. I wanted her to be safe in a world that wasn’t often kind to women.
“What’s wrong?” Lauren hurried to my side and spun me around to face her. “Did someone upset you? I’ll kill them. I’m not coming back to this desk. I will protect you at all costs.”
I hadn’t even realized I was crying at my desk as I was lost in thought about Birdie. I hadn’t been getting great sleep, and my emotions had been all out of whack. I was also still feeling terrible and exhausted most days. I’d lost another few pounds, and I was starting to worry. Still, I laughed at Lauren’s willingness to be my guard dog.
“I was just thinking about my daughter. I must be PMSing. I didn’t even realize I was crying.” I wiped my face and smiled. “What do you need?”
“Nothing. I just came to chat while I’m waiting for a client to get back to me.” She looked me over and put her hands on her hips. “Something’s going on with you. You look sick.”
“Thanks.” I ran my hands down my face and pulled my ponytail a little tighter. “I love hearing that.”