The day after Dad steps down as Ridgeview’s police chief, I invite Holden out for burgers at our favorite place in town.
Fox lets me take the Charger. Once we sorted things out between us, he told me I could consider it mine. The way he makes sure I feel free ignites a glowing ember of happiness in my chest.
After Dad admitted to loving Fox’s mom, my stomach has been in knots. I don’t know how to tell my brother what I know. God, all the things I know. It’s enough to make my head spin. I meet Holden out front and relax when he ruffles my hair, then pulls me in for a hug.
“Did you hear about Dad?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“The house is so different without you,” he says. “It’s weird.”
It hasn’t been a full day, but since we left the station I’ve been worried Dad wouldn’t take Fox’s threat to heart. I’m afraid he’ll warn Mom and Stalenko Corp anyway about the information we have on the whole operation.
“What’s it been like at the house?” I ask as we head into the shop.
Inside it’s decorated like a beach bar with bamboo counters and tropical plants. We place our orders and sit at one of the hightop tables with yellow stools. He shrugs and fiddles with a jar of drink umbrellas on the table.
“Well, at first it was fi
ne. But I haven’t been home much after they started fighting constantly in the days after you split. I think they want to get a divorce and they’ve been waiting for us to leave home before doing it. You believe that shit? Like they’ve made it easier for us by staying together.”
I refuse to feel guilty for leaving after arguing with them. It’s only the learned response I have that bucks up, so I shove it down. They had no right to treat me like they did.
“Have you been there since yesterday?” I watch him carefully.
“Yeah, I was there for dinner last night before I went out with some friends. Mom was pissed when Dad announced his resignation out of nowhere in the middle of eating. She threw her plate at him and called him a dickless coward.”
My eyebrows fly up. Mom’s always been the more cutthroat of our parents.
“What did he do?”
“Nothing.” Holden swipes a hand over his mouth. “She stormed off and slammed the office door. I was sitting there with salmon halfway to my mouth and he just kept eating even though there were broken pieces of plate all over the floor and her dinner staining his shirt. Top ten most uncomfortable and awkward moments of my life, Maise.”
When he doesn’t mention how or why, I unclench my fists in my lap and pluck at the frayed threads of my shorts. The plan is going okay then. That makes me feel better. Now we’re only waiting for the DEA agent Devlin was in touch with to review what we sent. The wait is killer.
Our food arrives and Holden changes the subject, stealing my milkshake for a sip before I’ve had any. “You’ll never guess what happened. Like, fifteen minutes before I pulled up.”
“What?”
“Ohio State reached out. A guy from the admissions office called and said there was some mix up, but if I still wanted to play for them I could transfer from the community college and start next semester there.”
“Holden, that’s great.” I lean across the table and squeeze his wrist. “Will you go?”
One of his shoulders hitch. “I don’t know yet. At first I was like what the fuck, you know? I’m hesitant because in the last year I think I’m actually glad I lost the draft.”
Holden said that the night I left home. Whether he takes it or not, I feel better knowing it’s there if he wants because Fox reversed what he did.
“Do you want to play football still?”
He mulls it over, taking a huge bite from his burger. “I think losing it is what made me realize I don’t love the game as much as I thought I did. I’ve found other stuff I like. Community college really isn’t that bad.”
The corners of my mouth quirk up. I’m relieved to hear Holden found some peace after a year of moping over this. I wonder how much the girl he brought to Thea’s opening day at the bakery had to do with this new leaf he’s turned over.
“What about you?” he asks. “Will you go to Northwestern?”
“No.” I don’t even have to think about it. “I want to know—” Myself “—what the world’s got to offer before I dive into college. If I do at all.”
“That’s good. There’s no reason you have to decide now. Take a year, two. However long you need.”