I wanted it, so that’s all that matters.
Opening the door, I snort as Constantine tries to take off like a bullet, but skids on the back terrace and trips into a clumsy roll. He pops up a second later, perfectly fine and disappears past the pool of light into the backyard. I hear him rustling around as I lean against the open door to wait for him, hugging myself against the chill.
My mind goes to the fight between Mrs. Bishop and Damien we overheard in the coatroom. I know it’s important. It feels like the key to understanding Connor and the way his mind works. He said he knew, but for how long? Did he recently discover the affair? My heart aches for him as I picture their family friend over for dinner and how that must have shattered Connor’s trust.
He’s hiding pain behind those cocky smiles and the way he jokes at school. Does anyone see that? I hope his best friend does, at least. I know how hard it is to hide a big secret eating you up and pretend everything is fine around friends. It’s what I did with Maisy when I couldn’t tell her about Henry.
Constantine returns in a seventy pound blur and sits at the back door, waiting for my command to allow him in.
“Okay. Come.” The dog follows me inside and I offer him a treat from a jar on the counter—homemade peanut butter milk bones from a recipe I tweaked. “Take it.”
Constantine crunches down and trails behind me as I climb the stairs to my bedroom. My thoughts turn as I change out of my gown and wipe the makeup off my face.
The light never turns on in Connor’s bedroom. I watch from my chair for a while before I get into bed.
If Connor’s mother is having an affair, why is she hiding it? She has the whole neighborhood fooled. Why is this a big secret?
I would hate to hide my love like that. But even worse, it breaks my heart that she’s sneaking around in plain sight, hurting people. And Connor knows.
Maybe her affair has jaded him, giving him reason to avoid relationships.
“I’m going to figure this out,” I mumble to Constantine as he snuggles with me in bed. I hug him close, stroking his soft fur. He stretches and flops half on top of me. “You big lump.”
My arms circle around him. He’s always my favorite to hug when I’m feeling down.
When I figure out what’s going on, I’ll confront Connor again to find out why he won’t date me if he wants me. Isn’t that what relationships are all about? I saw the look in his eyes tonight. It wasn’t only lust.
And I refuse to be his pawn any longer.
Twenty
Connor
It’s impossible to get Thea out of my head. She’s taken root, claiming every other thought as hers.
I was an idiot to think I could have one taste and get her out of my system. What happened in the coatroom was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before the powder keg between us finally went off.
That light in her eyes, the shyness burning away to reveal what she keeps locked up tight…
Thea isn’t the kind of girl you hit it once and quit. She’s the kind you grow addicted to, the kind that burrows beneath your skin and clutches your heart and your dick.
A weakness I shouldn’t indulge in mo
re than I already have.
There’s nothing I want more than to keep her, both the secret fiery minx and the nerdy stress baker who babbles nonstop. I want to give her what she asked for—a relationship. A boyfriend. That’s not me, though. And I’m sick to my stomach because there’s always the chance my biggest worry will come true: that she’s just like her mom.
I’ve been learning to let her in, to trust what she says. But what if I’m wrong?
After what she heard in the coatroom, she could tell someone.
Christ, how can I feel like this about the daughter of the woman who’s caused me so many problems?
But I can’t stop thinking about the other night, even while I’m supposed to be focused on the Monday night game.
My teammates run and shout around me on the field. The floodlights are blinding. Sweat drips down my temples, stinging my eyes. I’m so out of it that Devlin punches my shoulder lightly as the other team subs out players.
“Dude. What are you doing?” he asks, swiping black hair back from his face. “I’ve never seen you miss a shot so perfectly set up.”