It’s Connor with his guard firmly up, refusing to let me back in. I thought we were making progress toward understanding each other better, that maybe he was changing his ways for the better.
This environment must be toxic for him, because it turns him into someone I barely recognize. He’s that damn blackmail king once more.
I don’t like this Connor, but I empathize with him.
I’m not really me tonight and you’re not really you.
He wouldn’t be here without the strict expectations of his mom. I want to do what I can to take away the look on his face, so I slide my hands up the lapels of his tuxedo and pull him in for another kiss.
Connor takes my mouth with a rough sound, holding me against him.
The kiss gets heated, and he tugs me into the coatroom, slamming the door behind us as we stumble through the muted light, bumping against coats. I clutch his shoulders and he grabs my ass, palming it through my gold dress while his tongue delves into my mouth.
Is this fake, too? Has everything tonight been for show?
The last time we kissed, it was intense. I feel the same trembling restraint shattering as Connor devours my mouth.
I need to know if this is real or not.
Because why am I lying to the people out there while we’re hooking up in private? It makes no sense.
“You’re the cure to this mad circus act I’ve been trapped in all night,” he murmurs against my lips.
An ache pangs in my chest, but I snap my spine straight and plant my hands on his chest to keep him from diving in for another kiss.
“Wait. I’m not just going to play along and be your secret in private while pretending to be your fake girlfriend in public.” As I lay it down, Connor stares at me, his expression hard to read. I prod him in the chest. “Why do I have to cater to you if you’re just using me? Was last night anything or another game you’ll hold against me?”
“Against you? What have I been doing all—” With a frustrated breath, he cuts off and swipes a hand over his mouth. His gray eyes harden. He’s shutting me out, I can feel it. He takes out his phone and pulls up one of my tamer photos he’s been dangling over my head. His knuckles turn white as he grips the phone. “You want to keep challenging me? Blackmail it is, then. I always keep my word. If you want out, you know what it means.”
I fold my arms. I don’t believe he would. “Do it. It’s better than you pulling the leverage card when you don’t like what I say. I’m a person, Connor. You can’t control me like a chess piece.”
He grumbles under his breath and puts his phone away. I called his bluff and it gives me a sliver of hope. I step close enough my chest brushes his body.
“This doesn’t have to be a secret we hide. If you want me, you can ask me out for real and maybe I’ll say yes.”
Silence blankets the coatroom for a beat.
“Does that uptight mom of yours even let you date?” Connor narrows his eyes. “Does she know you’re here?”
I lift my chin. “You didn’t care before when you bullied me into this deal. I don’t need her permission to do what I want.”
Connor traces my lower lip. “There’s just one problem with your cute little declaration.”
“What?”
“I don’t do girlfriends, remember? Never have. Wanting to fuck you doesn’t change that. This is mutual back scratching to get my mom off my case.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t have to.” He kisses me, lips moving slowly over mine. “But you do want this.”
“Do I?” I sass as he herds me through the room until my back hits a wall.
“You’re dying to know. I saw it in your eyes last night.” Connor drags his lips down my neck and I gasp, tilting my head. “What do you say, my little mouse? Going to let me show you what it’s like to become the irresistible vixen you are behind your phone?”
It’s tempting. He’s luring out the Thea in my secret folder. I want it, but I’m not done pushing my point. I won’t give up. We can have this now, but I’m not letting this go.
Connor covers my mouth with his, nipping my lip. I dig my nails into his biceps. “Well?”