She smiles, the corner of her mouth tugging up. “I like it up here.”
The stars blink down at us, faintly twinkling.
I haven’t asked the stars for the thing I want most of all lately. The secret I thought Blair figured out.
It’s impossible, too much for even the magic of a wish.
Blair studies at me with an unreadable look, the moon painting the side of her face in pale light.
My stupid, messed up heart thumps, aching at her beauty. Her full lips slide together to contain whatever she’s holding back from saying.
“What?”
She blinks like she’s coming out of a daze. “You reminded me of someone I used to know. A long time ago.”
“Who?” I swallow past the shards stabbing my throat.
Does she remember, too?
“A sad boy I knew once. I told him about shooting stars.” Her brow wrinkles. “You have the same kind of look in your eyes.”
Tell her, my mind screams. Tell her you are that boy. That you knew her, too, but she left.
Like the others. All of them leave. No one stays.
Part of me doesn’t want to tell her. If I do, she’ll see my weaknesses. She could leave again. She will leave eventually. Because she’s not here for me. Blair is only here for other reasons.
Not because I’m worthy of her company.
Not because I’ve earned her trust or her affection.
Not because I deserve any second I steal with her.
My wretched heart lurches as I stare at her.
Maybe it was always coming, wanting her as much as my next breath. I’ve just smothered it. Learned to survive around it.
Now it’s a force I can’t contain, the need for her living in my veins and my bones like vines wrapping around every part of me.
I rub my fingers together and turn my attention to the sky. When I spot a shooting star, I point it out. “There’s one. See it?”
Blair hums in acknowledgement. “There’s another. Mom used to read me this book about a falling star.” Her expression turns fond and tender, like it does when she visits her mom in the hospital. “It was one of my favorites.”
I study her profile in the moonlight.
The urge swirling inside becomes too much. I’ve fucked around with plenty of girls, but I need something else right now.
The words leave me before I’ve fully formed the thought. “I’ll pay you five grand to sleep in my bed tonight. Just sleep.”
Blair’s head snaps around. “W-what?”
“Five thousand,” I repeat, clenching my jaw.
If Blair’s stubborn, I’m a stone wall. I’m selfish and I can’t help myself.
It’s the first order I’ve officially given her since she moved in, because I want a guarantee.
If this is my only chance, I want it. This time I’m not waiting on the stars to grant my wishes, I’ll take it for myself.