“What?”
Alec follows me into my room. “Are you cool?”
“Cool about what?”
I grab a stack of square prints from the nightstand and kneel on my bed to stick my new additions to the wall. The photos that have Lucas in them still sit in the drawer.
The bed shifts when Alec sits down.
“At school. The stuff with Lucas.”
I shrug.
“He came by the other night. When you were crying in the bath. I wouldn’t let him in.” When I don’t respond, Alec goes on. “Should I punch him?”
I peer at him over my shoulder. “Now why would you deck your friend, Alec?”
He chews on his lip, his face troubled.
“I’ve been a shitty brother.”
“Alert the media,” I deadpan.
“Seriously, Gem.” He scoots closer and pokes my ankle as I return to my task. “I want to punch him every time I see him laughing with the guys. He treated you like shit and got away with it.”
“Rich, popular, quarterback.” I tick each one off on my fingers. “Privileged beyond belief. Basically an untouchable god amongst men.”
“Okay, can you put the tough girl sarc
asm on hold for five minutes? I want to know what will help you feel better. I’ve seen the way you still look at him.”
My shoulders slump. “What makes you want to help now? You’ve been pretty hot and cold since we moved. I told you, Matt never asked—”
My voice cracks and I stop.
“I know,” Alec says in a rush, voice gruff. “I know. I’m the worst for all of that. I should’ve believed you. I think…”
Abandoning my prints, I turn to face him. One hand is in his hair and his wide eyes stare at nothing.
“I didn’t know how to handle it.” He holds a palm up when I open my mouth to sling another snarky retort. “I know. It’s not a good excuse. There aren’t any valid excuses. Obviously things were worse for you, it actually happened to you. I didn’t know what to say and I didn’t want things to change. We all had fun together. He was my best friend. I didn’t know how to flip to hating him overnight on your behalf.”
A frown tugs at my lips. Alec lifts his tortured gaze to meet mine.
“I’m saying sorry now for being a dick about it. And for this year, since we moved.” Alec scrubs his face. “I resented that we had to leave our home. I was ripped away from everyone. But it’s cool here. I shouldn’t have hated you for that.”
Emotion bubbles over and closes my throat. I sniffle. Alec darts his eyes up.
“Oh god.” He looks lost, but genuine. “Don’t cry. Please.”
I flap my hands as the tears flow. Alec wipes them away with his sleeve.
“Don’t cry. It’ll be okay.”
A watery laugh leaves me. “Tough people cry, too.”
“Yeah. You’re right.” He tugs me into his arms. “I’m sorry.”
The tears run their course as I cling to Alec. I retreat with a gross snuffle, wiping my nose on my sleeve.