Things got out of control.
Once the topic came up, I didn’t know how to shut it down. It’s not something I’ve ever done before. My mask was slipping and it was a challenge to keep it from falling.
Laughing with my friends at lunch was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It didn’t feel good at Gemma’s expense, not the way I’d fantasized about at the start of the year.
The tension hasn’t left me since lunch.
It was stupid to think I could keep Gemma and my mask. The two don’t go together. She sees through it.
I need a way to fix this. But I can’t figure out how to explain to Gemma how things have changed since I set this in motion.
Scraping my fingers through my hair in last period, I send another text. Gemma has ignored all of my messages today. And she blocked me on her Instagram. I found that out when I went on to send her a DM.
Lucas: Babe, talk to me. Can I see you before practice?
I’m ready to cut out of class early to find her. God only knows what’s going on in her head.
I sit up when three gray dots appear on the screen. They disappear and return twice. I tug on my earlobe as I wait for her response.
At the front of the room, my english teacher pauses her lesson to squint at me. I slouch in my desk in the back row and put the phone on my lap so she doesn’t take it from me. She tips her chin up and keeps talking about nouns or analogies or whatever.
I tune the lesson out as I will Gemma to answer me.
At several long minutes, my phone vibrates on my thigh.
Gemma: Get one of your other girls to suck your dick today. Not feeling it. The others can have you.
My brow wrinkles. Other girls? Is this about those Coyote Girls from the parking lot this morning?
I grit my teeth. Damn it. That meant nothing. It was me being a wingman to Devlin. He was itching to get laid.
If anything, I kept up the act when Gemma showed because I was curious if she’d get jealous. I wanted to see her jealous over me, like I get anytime another guy even looks her way. Seeing her jealousy proves she needs me—wants me the way I want her.
Lucas: There are no other girls for me. Only you.
She replies immediately.
Gemma: Save it, your dick won’t grow the more you lie. I’m done. Go away.
She can’t keep me away.
Annoyed that I’m not getting through to her, I stuff my phone in my pocket.
She doesn’t believe me. Fine. I won’t plead my case to ears that don’t give a shit to listen. She can cool off and I’ll try later.
Your fault, coward, a voice niggles in the back of my head. I twist like I can physically escape the slithering thoughts.
It was easier when I hated her. When she didn’t make me face the person I am and the one I pretend to be.
This all went sideways the minute I started to catch feelings for Gemma Turner.
My life would be cake if I simply put her in her place and moved on. Leave her for some other idiot to deal with, if he was brave enough to tame her.
Even thinking like this, my reaction is visceral. I swallow through the possessiveness that rears up. My mind screams mine, mine, mine.
Gemma’s in my fucking veins. I can’t get her out that easy.
Or let someone else have her.