Okay, maybe not the only reason.
Fear of rejection was up there. Way up there.
And embarrassment.
She’d told him she was still dealing with an ex who was attempting to steal her work. She’d admitted she was hiding out because she couldn’t handle real life.
Sam had found her hiding out so many times over the years.
This wasn’t anything new, but it was well past time to be an independent grown up who faced her problems head on. Even when it was so much more fun to dive into an experiment and focus on something else.
Tansy pulled her sourdough starter from the fridge and mixed up a batch of bread dough.
Once it was rising, she moved to the living room and looked out at Midnight Lake. The sun wouldn’t be up and over the trees for a few hours, but the streaks of rose and gold were brightening up the eastern sky.
Her favorite time of day for a run.
She stoked the pellet stove to warm the space and looked around for a way to leave a note for Sam. It had been a long time since she’d had to tell anyone where she was, but she wasn’t going to make Sam worry.
Tansy didn’t use paper much. Her notes were mostly filed in her head and on the computer she kept in the cabin.
Did she even have a pencil?
There must be something in the basement she could use.
Before she could move in that direction, Sam walked into the room. “Morning.”
His rumbly morning voice had her shivering despite the warmth from the stove.
“Good morning. Did you sleep okay? Was the bed all right?”
A sexy eyebrow shot up, and he gave her a small smile. “I’ve slept in much worse places. Any coffee?”
Tansy shot up her own eyebrow and waited.
It only took a few seconds. “Shit. I forgot. You’re the only human who doesn’t require coffee. How the hell do you function?”
“I’ve got tea.”
“Of course you do.”
His heartfelt sigh made her laugh, and the nerves she’d been feeling melted away. This was her Sam. One of her favorite people on the planet.
Even if she was lusting after him, he was still her Sam.
“I’m going for a run. I’ll grab you the tea choices before I go.”
“A run at zero-dark-thirty without coffee and with slushy-mud-snow-crap on the ground.” Another sigh rumbled up from his toes. “Give me five and I’ll join you.”
Sam turned and headed back up the stairs, leaving Tansy smiling. He was as fit as anyone she’d ever met. He loved to run, cold or not.
For a moment, Tansy considered adding coffee to her shopping list, but she couldn’t do it. Not in good conscience. He’d have to buy his own.
She didn’t know much about growing coffee. There had to be people working on making a replica that didn’t cause such tragic deforestation of the rain forests.
Maybe she could source some ethical coffee for Sam while she converted him to tea.
The planting zone here in Vermont was fine for growing chamomile and mint. She’d grow more this year, but her stash was big enough to get her through until fall.