Today, I wore no ribbon.
No usual flair of blue.
Today, that ribbon fluttered around the lid of the silver urn, hugging Ren one last time.
Jacob squeezed the urn, pressing his cheek to the coolness, breaking my heart all over again. “I love you, Dad. No matter that you’re just ash now.”
A sob grabbled with my voice as I forced myself to turn from the touching, breaking moment and face the tear-streaked members of our town.
John cried silently. Cassie hugged Nina while Chip hugged her. Liam hugged his wife and son while Adam and his family hovered close by. Behind them, the town stood poised and waiting for whatever words I could deliver that might stop the pain.
But I didn’t have that power. No one did.
And even if such a magic existed, I wouldn’t want it.
I wouldn’t want my smarting, bleeding grief to be erased because that was the price of love, and I’d loved dearly.
Reading from my printed page, even though the words were typed on my heart, I took lines from the prologue and shared them, all while keeping others just for me.
“First, I want to say thank you. Thank you for falling in love with Ren just as much as me. Thank you for understanding that love spans decades, infects souls, and turns you immortal because, when you love that deeply, nothing can ever die.”
I looked up, meeting the eyes of John.
He nodded, biting his trembling lip, his mind awash with Patricia and Ren.
I spoke for me and for everyone with lost loved ones.
I hoped they’d see what Ren and I had seen…that love truly was mystical and miraculous.
My voice threaded tears with truth.
“Love transcends time, space, distance, universes.
“Love can’t be confined to pages or photos or memories—it’s forever alive and wild and free. Romance comes and goes, lust flickers and smoulders, trials appear and test, life gets in the way and educates, pain can derail happiness, joy can delete sadness, togetherness is more than just a fairy-tale…it’s a choice.
“A choice to love and cherish and honour and trust and adore.
“A choice to choose love, all the while knowing it has the power to break you.
“A choice, dear friends, to give someone your entire heart.
“But in the end, love is what life is about.
“And love is the purpose of everything.”
John broke from the ranks, striding in leaf-crunching boots to bear hug me. Cassie joined him, her subtle perfume clouding around us.
“We’re here. You and Jakey are not alone.” John let me go, blowing his nose on a handkerchief.
“I love you, Della.” Cassie kissed my cheek and squeezed my arm before guiding her father back to their places.
With their kind support, I stood braver in the face of heartbreak and tucked my page away.
I smiled at the crowd, wobbly and watery. “Ren died knowing how loved he was. And we’re still here, knowing he’ll always love us in return. Some might say our romance is over. That his death ruins our story. And I’d agree, but only because romance can be killed, but love…it can’t. It lives on, and I’m patient enough to wait for our happily ever after.”
Townsfolk nodded, some sharing looks, others glassy-eyed with their own memories.
But I’d said what I needed to.
I’d done what was expected for a grieving widow to honour her dead lover.
Now, we had something else much more important to do.
Turning to Jacob, I held out my hand. “Ready?”
He hugged the silver urn tighter. “No.”
I kissed his soft hair. “He’ll always love you, Jacob.”
“I don’t want to say goodbye.”
“But we’re not.”
“I don’t want to let him go.”
Bending closer, I whispered, “We’re not letting him go. We’re setting him free. The wind will guide him to visit us; the forest will keep him safe. He’ll be all around us, Wild One.”
His face shone with tears. “But who will I talk to?” He stroked the urn. “At least he’s still here.”
A tear rolled down my cheek. “He’s not in there, Jacob. His spirit is already listening. He hears you when you talk to him, even without his ashes.”
“You sure?” He hiccupped. “Promise?”
I opened my arms.
Jacob launched into them, wedging the urn between us. “I promise. He’s watching us right now, and he’d want us to be brave, okay?”
Pulling back, he wiped his cheeks with his black-suited forearm. “Okay. I’ll be brave. For him.”
Standing, I didn’t look back at the crowd, merely waited for my son to take my hand.
When he did, we moved farther away, deeper into the green-shrouded forest.
Once we found a perfect sun-lit spot, we stopped.
“Ready?”
“’kay.”
Together, with shaking hands and slippery grip, we unscrewed the lid.
Another flute of a breeze found its way through the boughs and leaves to lick around us.
My skin prickled. My heart answered. I felt him near.
I love you, Ren.
As we started to tip, I whispered, “Don’t say farewell, Wild One. Don’t say the words goodbye because it isn’t. If you must say something, say I love you. Because he’ll hear it and know he’s not forgotten.”