Such a superficial want but where Pim was concerned, I no longer held rational thought.
She laughed, shaking her head. “No, not me personally but one of my favourite movies growing up as a child was The Abyss.”
I froze, my bare feet digging into the kwila deck beneath me. “The Abyss?” I did my best to hide my sharp interest.
Finally.
Finally, a tiny glimpse into who she’d been before me and what affections she harboured.
She nodded all bright eyed and happy. “Yes. I loved the water aliens and the way they had those exploring robots.” She laughed, shaking her head. “Not that I’m saying this gorgeous place is anything like the sterile white lab they had.”
I couldn’t move.
Should I tell her?
Should I admit that after weeks of spending time together, of desperately wanting to know more about her, she’d finally given me a scrap of what I ultimately desired? That she’d successfully struck me dumb, given me a pill, and allowed some addictive part of me to relax.
What would she say if I admitted that her favourite movie was one of mine, too?
That as a kid—before all the shit I put my family through—my mother called me a water sprite. She had a hard time getting me out of the bath, the ocean, a pool. Any movie beneath the sea was my ultimate. And The Abyss was every good plotline in one.
Pim continued toward the submarine, a wistful smile on her face. “The romance between those two main characters…Bud and…I can’t remember his wife’s name. They were divorced, but you could tell they still loved each other.” She glanced back at me. “I always loved the bits when they were arguing. In my mind, those fights were saying they still cared. They just didn’t know how to work past everything keeping them apart.”
I cleared my throat again at the overwhelming need in her gaze. The way she threw her words across the water and pushed them into my ears. As if every hidden message and veiled insinuation decided to leap from behind their mask and pummel me over the goddamn head.
She’d told me she loved me. She’d written it in a letter. She’d told me I’d earned that love, but she’d never told me if that love was out of obligation or because her heart mimicked mine and couldn’t imagine a future without each other.
She loved me, but was she in love with me?
I had a throbbing need to put aside the bullshit and ask one question.
The question.
The most important question that negated every other.
Do you want me the way I want you?
Clearing my throat yet again, I did my best to prevent such a soul-destroying query from climbing free. Instead, I grumbled, “His wife’s name was Lindsey.” Moving closer, I leaned over her to push the button on the sub that opened a small waterproof cubby for the handle. Cranking it, the thick Perspex bubble cracked open.
Pim froze.
She stopped breathing.
My arm remained over her shoulder, my half naked body a fraction away from hers.
Stupid idea.
I should’ve asked her to move instead of reaching over…
Sparkling water spangles decorated her body. My mouth went dry as cotton.
Her eyelashes fluttered as she dropped her gaze to my dragon tattooed chest. “You know, when you move, sometimes I think you can fly. That this—” She reached out, stroking the inked scales and horned mythical lizard protecting me. “Lends its wings to you.”
I shivered as her fingertips became fingers then flattened to her palm. The heat of her touch undid me. My back arched, pressing myself into her. My arm fell around her shoulders, jerking her close.
She gasped as I buried my nose in the crook of her neck, breathing her in, using her scent as my new drug to try to remain calm.
Once again, she’d given me access to a small part of her thoughts.
She had no fucking clue what it did to me, how it made me feel, and how fucking desperate it made me for more.
Her arms wrapped around me, hugging me hard.
And I let her.
I didn’t pull away or try to climb on top of her. I fought every instinct and stood ramrod straight, indulging in a simple embrace, all the while quaking beneath so much shit in my life that I could no longer differentiate good or bad, right or wrong, sane or crazy.
Pim nuzzled my chest, pressing fluttering kisses on my dragon’s snout. “I love any dessert that has raspberry. I’m a sucker for romantic comedies, no matter how cheesy. I used to read by torchlight when my mother thought I was in bed. I would do my homework at the last minute as I much preferred to people watch out my window and make up stories about where they were going than do silly arithmetic.”
Her lips glided toward my nipple, making me lock down with lust while shivering with shame that this woman who had been through so much was comforting me.