Not now.
That would be the height of rudeness—especially after what I’d done.
I shuddered as the memory of being inside her made me hard. I shouldn’t have any reaction apart from disgust. Definitely not the insane need to do it again.
Not looking back, I muttered, “Come on, little mouse. If you’re so interested in discussing your future, the least you can do is eat while doing it.”
She huffed but followed a few steps behind me.
I didn’t like it. I hated the feeling that she could look at me, trace my back, my legs, my ass. She could think things and blatantly let emotion show on her face because I couldn’t see. Her gaze felt like a whipping.
Entering the dining room where she’d stripped and almost made me snap, we took our respective chairs and waited in silence as the staff brought out a platter of baby chargrilled octopus, chilly-infused calamari, and Thai green mussels.
I guessed the chef was on a seafood kick tonight.
Pim glanced at me.
I waved at the platter. “Help yourself.”
She frowned but took a small spoonful of each delicacy before adding a freshly baked roll and curled butter to her plate. The minute she’d finished, I chose my own entrée and took a bite. Of course, it was delicious. Without fail, my chef produced epic food.
I’d hoped we could get through the first course without talking, but Pim had other ideas.
She swallowed her mouthful, took a sip of chilled water, and said, “About my future.”
“What about it?” I buttered my roll, studiously ignoring her. The longer I was in her company, the more I craved the syrupy relaxation offered by the weed sitting in my pocket.
Some men smoked cigars after dinner. I smoked pot—when I needed to. I had every intention of doing so tonight. Mainly to protect her from me. And to stop me from falling down the slippery slope of my screw-ups.
“I deserve to have some say in what my future holds, don’t you think?”
My knife clattered onto the side plate. “Are you saying I’ve been taking away your decisions?”
Don’t say yes. Even though it was true.
She fiddled with her cutlery. “I’m saying I’m tired of having no control.” She looked over her shoulder, lowering her voice from the hired help. “Last night…a lot of things happened to me.”
“Shit.” I slammed my elbow on the table and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I told you I’m sorry for that. I can’t sleep and barely concentrate. But I’m trying to make it right by fucking freeing you.”
“You’re not making it right,” she seethed. “You’re making it right for you. Not me.”
I dropped my hand, glowering. “Don’t I have that power? After all, I invited you onto my yacht. I showed you things I haven’t shown anyone. I kept you safe.” Smugness helped smother my vulnerability with cocky half-truths. “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be talking. If it wasn’t for me, you’d probably have thrown yourself into the sea by now.”
She froze, rage painting her features.
The staff returned, sweeping up the half-touched platter and replacing it with mains of herb-stuffed sword-fish with gnocchi and garlic butter. It smelled divine, but nothing could tear my attention from Pimlico or hers from me.
We locked in an eye-war, wondering who would break first.
Picking up her fork, Pim tore her gaze away. The fact that she’d broken the spell didn’t mean she’d lost. She’d managed to scoop out my insides and leave me hollow. Her lips parted as she stroked the fork as if it was a wand and could grant her magic.
Slowly, she smiled. “I had every intention of arguing with you—to try to discuss what happened like adults. But I don’t need to.” She held up the fork. “This is all the proof I need.”
My forehead bunched. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re right, Elder. Without you, everything would still terrify me—including every man I came across. Without you, I would probably be dead by my hand or my old master’s, and I would’ve gladly entered a coffin to be free.” She stroked the sharp silver prongs. “You want to free me now when I’m finding freedom in your captivity? Well, that’s your decision, and nothing I say will change that. But you should know…if you send me away to return to a time warp where I no longer belong, return me to people who don’t know what I’ve been through, if I have relapses or nightmares, or have to relearn to survive all over again…then fine.” Her eyes glowed. “I can do that. I will do that. And I’ll do it because of you. Because of you, I’m strong enough to endure whatever comes next.”
She upended the fork and dug it into the wooden table. “But you should also know that because of you, I can hold this fork without fear of being beaten. I can sit at this table without cowering for a kick. Because of you, I can be human and not a pet because you showed me I’m valuable.”