His touch spread from my hip to my belly button. Never looking away, he pressed his fingertip into the indent in my stomach, pushing hard, somehow activating a thread of pleasure I never knew existed.
I hated sex.
I only knew pain when it came to fucking, and pain did not turn me on. Even the one instance where fumbling fingers and sloppy kisses had conjured any sort of desire was overshadowed by the fact that Scott (my first and only two-week boyfriend) had used me just like any man.
He might not have sampled my body but he’d used my mind. Copying my answers on his homework, asking me to help him cheat his exams.
Maybe all of this is my fault, and I just let men use me?
Not just men.
My mother had used me as her perfect daughter.
A killer had used me as a convenient sale.
Why should Mr. Prest be any different?
He interrupted my dark thoughts. “The thing is, you’ll never understand me, just as I won’t understand you. I don’t talk much, either. I prefer silence. I find it grants more than takes away.”
I tilted my chin in disagreement.
You’re pretty talkative currently.
His eyelids hooded as his arm wrapped around my back, dragging me forward. His nose skimmed my belly. “You’re right. For some reason, I talk enough for both of us when I’m around you. Let’s just say, I like to talk when in bed. Sex is where the truth comes out, regardless of what we try to hide.”
We aren’t in bed…
His excuse made no sense.
“Fuck, what am I saying?” Launching from the stool, he paced toward the door. “I need to go.”
Go?!
But you can’t…not until I figure out how to use you to free me.
The rigid outline of another erection showed in his slacks. He hadn’t put on his t-shirt and his tattoo was just as impressive with the dragon’s tail flickering with impatience over his liver as it was from the front protecting his heart.
“Ah fuck, I can’t. Not until I’ve—” Yanking a hand through his hair, he exhaled heavily. “Shit, I shouldn’t—”
Stopping by the mattress, he shook his head and once again crooked his finger. “Fuck it. Come here. There’s something I need to do.”
My feet glued to the carpet.
Do what, exactly?
Did it matter? I was running out of chances to make him want me enough to steal me. He’d already admitted he wanted me in ways he shouldn’t. I needed gumption to use that addiction against him.
I took a step forward.
He smiled, sharp and as dangerous as his dragon. “Good girl. A little closer.”
I narrowed my eyes, studying him as his hands opened and closed by his thighs. He looked back and forth between me and his blazer, once again guilt and bewilderment on his face.
Whatever he wanted to do would pain him as well as me.
What is he afraid of?
Curiosity was stronger than my fear.
I tiptoed toward him.
WHAT THE FUCK are you doing?
I turned off my mind.
I couldn’t control my body or its pounding lust as Pimlico padded closer, but I could switch off the berating questions of my sanity.
I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do this. While she slept and the desire to take what I wanted snowballed, I’d chained myself with obedience.
Fucking good my self-control turned out to be.
I’m allowed one of everything.
And I wanted one of this.
So. Fucking. Much.
But this goes against—
I shut off my thoughts.
Even if it was wrong, I’d never have it again. I needed to know what it felt like before I walked out the bloody door and never looked back. After this, I would leave. I wouldn’t wait for Alrik to bulldoze through our sanctuary and steal his slave.
He could have her.
She was too much for me.
Too much work, too much temptation, far too much addiction. I was glad Selix had hung around with the car because the sooner I was out of here, the better for everyone.
When Pim reached my side, I pointed at the bed. “Sit down.”
Unlike her other fractiousness, she obeyed immediately.
Her thighs hid the place she’d touched so unwilling, her ribcage pressed against her skin as she breathed faster with uncertainty.
She looked so goddamn beautiful even while bordering broken.
Looming over her, I paused.
If I did this, I would be slaughtering more than one law in my world. I would pay for it for months afterward.
But if I didn’t do this, I would forever wonder, and I didn’t like fucking wondering. It was a waste of time. Time I needed to dedicate to my empire. I’d take this one last thing from her and then…it was over.
Never looking away, I slammed to my knees.
She gasped as we became eye-level and every wildness inside me told me to flip her over and fuck her. Just take what I wanted.
But she would shut down like before.
She’d bury herself deep.
And I didn’t want to claim her body.