I follow his gaze and I see Sassy staking her claim on Crosby’s open suitcase.
“Oh my god, no,” I gasp.
Crosby laughs. “It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. That’s disgusting. She’s going to have her babies on a stupid Hufflepuff tee-shirt and then what? You won’t be able to leave tomorrow because your suitcase will be full of kittens.”
I feel him smile when he kisses my mouth. “If I hadn’t promised my mom I would go and see her the day after Christmas, I would cancel all of it. I have other bags with me. I can leave that one. I don’t think I’m a member of the family enough to warrant a sack full of presents to take home in my luggage, anyway.”
“So practical,” I say.
Crosby and I quietly get dressed, check on Sassy one more time, and then head downstairs to Christmas breakfast and then to the opening of presents under the tree.
Neil and Mother are in matching si
lk pajamas, of course, looking stupidly happy with each other. Mother nursing only a slight hangover from last night.
“Crosby, why don’t you play Santa and pass out our gifts to your sister?”
“Gross, Dad. She’s not my sister. She’s not even going to be my sister. “
“Fine, stepsister,” Neil says.
“And when will that be, exactly?” I ask.
Mother shoots icicles at me. “When the spirit moves.”
I escape her warning gaze, turning my attention back to Neil. “That’s usually not the best move for Rushmore women. We like to have a clear agenda.” I try to keep my tone light but I can practically see smoke coming out of my mother’s ears.
“Ridley, dear.”
Neil puts a hand up reassuringly. “No, it’s fine. I completely understand. You have questions about me. I’m going to be your new father figure and you just met me. It makes sense that you would have questions.”
That’s not exactly my motivation for this question but I let him think that it is.
“Right. I have questions about your intentions,” I say.
Mother is seething. But as I watch the two of them together, it seems clear to me that despite how dippy I might think Neil is, he seems genuinely in love with my mother. My mother does everything with a scary military precision and Neil is very much a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. They don’t make sense together, but then maybe they do. He’s always kissing her on the hand, touching her shoulder, rubbing her back. She seems to calm down whenever he touches her like that.
My body longs to be open like that with Crosby.
I feel the heat of Crosby’s stare from across the family room, and I don’t want to look. When I do, I know he’s thinking the same thing.
Is this my life now? Are we going to have to keep this relationship a complete secret for the rest of our lives? It doesn’t seem fair.
Crosby’s face softens. He blinks at me with a reassuring smile and hands me a large present wrapped in glittering red paper and a gold bow.
The tag says it’s to me from Crosby.
Completely taking the focus off of our parents now, my voice cracks when I tell him I didn’t get him anything.
“Yeah. Yeah, you did,” he says, with unguarded earnestness. I can hear Mother and Neil softly whispering and giggling together, so thankfully, hopefully, they are not noticing whatever energy is being exchanged between Crosby and me.
I unwrap it and open the box to find a glittering cat collar, an assortment of cat toys, and a plush cat bed.
“Crosby,” I gasp. I hold the collar in my hand. It looks like diamonds. “You did not.”
“It’s not what you’re thinking. It’s crystal.”