“Ian and I served together. When I timed out he followed me here. He was never the strongest guy but he had a good heart and was loyal to a fault. Deidre loved him, when he died she…we both took it hard.
One night not long after his death she and I…you were too young baby, I wasn’t a monk you know that. I can’t just throw her out now, she’s just a little hurt and confused.” I was saying that but I knew if she insisted I would do everything to make her happy.
“How many others?” That certainly did not sound like my little peach.
“Pardon?”
“How many other women have you slept with and are they all HERE?”
Well shit. “Babe…”
“Tell me or I’m leaving.” I’m thinking my sweet little innocent was no more. I wonder if it was her introduction to my dick that had made her lose her damn mind. Whatever it was, once again I couldn’t let her get too out of hand, that shit could prove dangerous.
“Let’s get this straight.” I grabbed her face and turned her to look at me. “You’ll never leave me, not now not fucking ever, so calm your little ass down before you go too far.”
“I won’t stay here with her or any of the other women you’ve slept with and you can’t make me. You made a promise to me too remember, but then again this wouldn’t be the first time you broke a promise to me.” I could see that she wished she could take those words back the moment they left her mouth, but it was too late.
***
Baby-Girl
I could hear myself saying these things to him, but could hardly believe they were coming from my mouth. I was so mad and hurt though, that in that moment I really didn’t care.
I knew he’d been with women before me and yes I hated all of them. I sure didn’t want to share space with any of them. I knew from everything he’d said to me in the past few days that he was insanely jealous at even the thought of another man near me, wasn’t it supposed to be the same for me? Wasn’t he as much mine as I was his?
I didn’t mean to be mean to him though, to throw it in his face that he’d left me with that horrible woman all those years and had no idea what my life was really like. But seeing him hugging that girl who’d attacked me was the last straw. It was the last betrayal I was willing to take.
It was as if every horrible thing that had happened to me in my life had bubbled up to the surface. He was in shock at my words I could tell, that’s why it took him a while to answer. I was a bit surprised myself and was wishing them back two seconds after they were said, but my anger still burned bright.
“Explain yourself.” Oh he was mad, but after the last three days spent with him, I knew I had nothing to fear, that he’d never hurt me physically.
I was also almost certain because of the things he’d said while we were being intimate with each other that he would never cast me aside. He loved me, and I him, but that didn’t mean I had to be a doormat.
With my aunt I was always afraid, never feeling that I had the right to speak up for myself. In the last few days since coming here he’d freed me. He was probably going to regret that by the time this day was over, but I couldn’t turn back now.
“I’ve been in love with you, seems like from the first moment we met. I built a whole dream world around you even when there was no hope of us being together because I was so young and you, you were already a man with a life separate from the unwanted kid you’d taken on.”
“I used to live for the days when you’d show up out of nowhere, and because you never gave prior warning, everyday was a day of hope that you would. You were the only bright light in my life.”
“When you came, I was your little princess for those few days, but then as soon as you were gone, I went back to being nothing. Aunt Dee was mean to me, so mean, but when I tried to tell you that, you didn’t listen. Instead you sided with her, just like today.”
The memory of it made me mad all over again and next thing I knew I was pummeling his chest and screaming at him how much I hated him.
He did nothing for the first few minutes it seemed before springing into action. He tried his best to get me to stop, but I couldn’t pull it back in. All the anger and disappointment from the past came spewing out and I yelled some pretty horrible things at him. The truth is I was angrier about today than all the things I’d endured at my aunt’s hands all those years.