***
Babygirl
It’s almost like a dream, but I know it’s real. The rock on my hand is proof of that, not to mention the constant soreness between my thighs. The ache is like the best thing I ever felt, because it reminds me always that he was there. He’s always there.
I blushed at the thought as we moved around the huge kitchen together. When he’d told me that he’d built his home with me in mind, along with all the other things that he’d claimed, it was a little hard for me to believe.
His words were so far removed from my reality. It was hard to accept that while I was pining away with love for him that he was doing the same. I’m still having a hard time accepting, even after all that we’ve shared in the last day and a half, but boy do I want to.
The only thing I have to overcome now is this new fear of letting him out of my sight. Each time the phone rings or I hear an engine outside I get this sick feeling in my tummy.
When we’re lying in bed together every move he makes, is noticed by me, and I cling to him like a love sick puppy which he doesn’t seem to mind, but for how long? I think I’ve grown addicted.
Before, when my love for him was unrequited, I could keep it all in my head where it was perfectly beautiful. Now he had brought it out into the open and it was real and beautiful and perfect in its own way yes, but Creed was all man and some of that reality was bigger than I could’ve imagined.
I worried constantly now about the oddest things. Things like did he love me as much as I loved him? Would he leave me now that he’d got what he wanted? I knew nothing about relationships and what I was supposed to do, and quite frankly I felt out of my depth.
Add the fact that Creed is so bigger than life and everything that is beyond perfect in my eyes, and I just knew I wouldn’t be able to hold onto him forever. That thought more than any scares me to my soul.
“Hey, you’re making that noise again, look at me. Right here babe, and I’m not going anywhere.” He took my face in his hand as I leaned over the table to place the platter of pancakes there.
He stared into my eyes almost willing me to see the truth of his words there. “Come here.” He pulled me around the little bench seat that was built into the window behind the table, and onto his lap.
With my chin in his hand he studied me for the longest while before saying anything. I was beginning to get antsy by the time he opened his mouth to speak. “I don’t like that you’re having such a hard time believing me. If I say I love you, that’s just what the fuck I mean.”
He frowned at me and I almost laughed because he actually thought it was that easy. That all he had to do was say the words and that would make it so. “I want to believe…”
“What the fuck? What did I say? Do you really think I would’ve fucked you if I wasn’t all the way gone? The fuck you take me for? That fucking lasso on your finger is as good as a branding iron and I put it there.” He didn’t say anything for the next few minutes just studied me like a bug under a microscope.
“Am I to believe then that you don’t really love me either? That it’s just my dick that make you cry that shit out when I’m in you?” He didn’t seem to like that idea very much and the dark scowl on his face was testament to that.
“Of course not, don’t be silly, you know I’m in love with you.” My face went up in flames and I was about to throw up, but I managed to get those words out.
“I don’t know shit baby apparently around here we throw that word around but it has no real meaning.” It took me a minute to realize I’d hurt his feelings or his pride, I don’t know which one because I suck at this.
Now it was my turn to reassure and I found that it was easier being on this end. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel that way, it’s just hard for me to accept that someone as perfect as you could love someone like me.”
That got me a deep tonsil clearing kiss and a gruff don’t be an ass and a pat on the butt. “Stay.” I’d tried getting off his lap to go to my side but he held me in place. “Open.”