“Please, I need you,” I beg once again, my hand wrapping around his dick and I squeeze, loving the way he throbs in my hand. His fingers go to my pussy and my body convulses as he grazes my clit. It’s too much, I can’t do it again. “Hudson. Please, I need you in me.”
He shifts suddenly, I release his dick and his fingers leave my pussy. Within seconds he’s thrusting into me. I scream out in pleasure as his cock fills me. “Yes.”
His buries his head in my shoulder and thrusts, grunting with every movement he makes. He’s not once looked at me, this isn’t how he usually is with me. As good as it feels, there’s an emptiness with it. He’s not present, his mind is elsewhere and I’m an outlet for his anger. His thrusts get harder, each one painful but yet I want more. His grunts get louder, now they’re mixed with my moans, I’m so close and from his erratic movements, I can tell that he is too.
He comes on a long groan, within seconds he pulls out of me and I’m left feeling unsatisfied. Turning over in bed, I reach for my phone to check the time, it’s almost midday, shit, I promised Jagger, Harrison, David, and Hudson that I’d cook dinner for them. They’ve all been busy these past couple of weeks, most of the time they’re skipping meals and not getting much sleep. I put my foot down, today, they’re all taking a break. With Sarah and Allie back in New York as Sarah has a fashion show, Jagger’s by himself with no one to ensure he eats or sleeps. The men grumbled about having dinner but I wouldn’t listen, I want to do this, it’s the only thing I’m able to do.
Hudson’s mom has moved in with us, she’s been teaching me how to cook. She’ll be joining us for dinner and Harrison’s not looking forward to it. The man ignores her most of the time, only speaking to her if she talks to him. It’s childish and it needs to end, they’re grown adults who have a child, they should be civil without making everyone around them uncomfortable.
We buried Mom last week, I spent the next few days in bed, unable to get up. There’s not a day that has gone by that I haven’t broken down and sobbed. Hudson was with me those days I was in bed, telling everyone that unless someone died or something was blown up, he didn’t give a shit. He was spending time with me while I grieved. I love him more than ever, he was my rock to lean on and I don’t think I would have made it out the other side had he not been there for me.
I finally got to see Sarah and Allie in person, it was good to just hold them both. I still haven’t told her everything yet and I’m honestly not sure if I will. I’m finally getting over it, I’m still not able to sleep with the light off but my nightmares are few and far between. Sarah sat beside me at mom’s funeral and held my hand through it all, it was great having both her and Hudson flanking me, both of them offering me support.
My foot hits the bedroom floor just as the bedroom door closes. A lone tear falls as I realize that Hudson’s gone, he’s not spoken to me this morning. He fucked me as if I were someone he didn’t care about, it’s something I never want to happen again. I’ve never felt so worthless, so dirty as I do right in this moment. Picking up my clothes from the bedroom floor, I walk into the bathroom, throwing the clothes into the laundry basket
. I switch on the shower, my reflection catches my eye, there’s a slight bump now. It’s not much but I can definitely notice it. My hands touch my stomach, God, I can’t believe that I’m pregnant, as much as everything is up in the air right now, fear and anger taint us all, but this baby is the shining spark through all the hurt that I’ve been feeling, that we’ve all been feeling.
Getting into the shower, I let the water cascade over me. I’m mad, I’m hurt, and I’m angry at Hudson, he treated me as if I were a nobody, as if I didn’t matter. He fucked me and walked away without saying a word. I bow my head and let the water hit my shoulder blades, loving the way it pounds where all my tension is.
Hands go around my waist and I freeze, “Princess.” His voice gentle and soft.
I ignore him and keep my head buried, the water hot against my skin.
“Mia, talk to me.”
I scoff. “Like you did this morning?” I remove his hands off my stomach, not wanting him to touch me right now. I’m too angry.
“Baby,” he whispers. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” He spins me around so that I’m facing him. His fingers caressing my cheek. “I’m an asshole, I fucked up, I’m sorry.”
I nod, unable to say anything right now, I don’t want to argue. Today was meant to be a good day, a day where we could all relax, or try to anyway and he’s put me in a bad mood.
“Mia, please talk to me.” He’s not used to this, I’ve never been this angry with him before. “Talk to me.”
I glare at him, his face full of remorse. “You made me feel like I meant nothing. You fucked me and never said a word. I never felt as used as I did then.” His lips part, it’s a direct hit. “I felt as though I could have been anyone, I was just a hole for your cock to fill.” I shake my head and turn back around, letting the water cascade down around me again.
His hands grip my hips. “You will never be just a hole for me,” he growls. “Yes, I fucked you, but I fucked you with love as I have done every time since we met. In the two years I have known you Mia, you are the only woman I have ever wanted.” His lips touch my neck and my traitorous body alights in response. “You are more than the woman I love. You are my everything. Never, and I mean never think that you are anything less than what you are.” He spins me around, his lips are on mine, hot, heavy, and dominant. When his tongue sweeps into my mouth stealing my breath from me I melt into him as I always do.
He tears his mouth away from mine. “I fucking love you, Princess and that’s never going to change.”
All the anger I had has disappeared. I melt into him. “I love you too.”
He places a kiss against my head. “I’m an ass, I’m sorry.” I nod against his chest. “Let me wash you.” He releases my hips and I once again turn so that the water’s raining down on me.
His fingers massage my head as he lathers shampoo into my hair. “What happened?” I ask softly, loud enough to be heard over the water.
“I’m frustrated, Mia, I’ve not been able to track him. I’ve lost him and that’s on me. I should have sent more men to take him that night that Aaron was burned.” He confesses to me. “I’m pissed that because of this fucking feud he’s made, that a lot of people have died. People you love have died. You are innocent in all this and yet, you’re the one that has been affected by this the most.”
“That’s not on you, Hudson. None of this is your fault. You didn’t have a choice that Martin was bought into your life. You made him feel welcome, you made him a part of your family, your inner circle. You are a good man, Hudson.”
He laughs. “Princess, you have a funny mind-set if you believe that I’m a good man.”
I shake my head. “You’re not the definition of what most people would call good. But in your world, you treat your men with the utmost respect, you treat them like family. You would do anything for them just as they would for you. You are gentle and loving with me but with your enemies, you’re vicious and unforgiving. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”
“You’re an enigma,” he tells me as he washes my body with my loofah.
“I’m curious about something.”
His hands stop on my back. “What’s that?”