Everything I fear just rushes out of me. “I have this sense of dread that if I tell him everything I feel, that he’ll change how he sees me. I don't think he'll treat me as the woman I am, but as a fragile person. I won't be treated like I'm broken.” I wipe the tears away, willing them to stop. “Can we please just stop talking about this?”
“Yeah, of course. But promise me you're thinking about talking to either Sarah or Hudson? I don't like keeping secrets from her, we've promised no more. She’s going to be really hurt that we both kept it from her but I'm willing to take that hit because you deserve to tell her in your own time.”
I nod, still unable to face him as the tears drench my face. “I understand and I respect you for not saying anything. Thank you, Jagger.”
“Anything you need, just ask. I mean that Mia, you just need to ask and if it’s in my power then I’ll do it. Let’s get you home.”
“Yeah, I’m tired.” It’s not a lie, I’m having a hard time sleeping, and I’m constantly fatigued. Anytime that Hudson leaves the house while I’m in bed, I wake up instantly and go into the sitting room. I can’t sleep alone. It’s stupid, I’m like a child.
“Close your eyes and rest, Mia, we’ve got a couple of minutes before you’re home. Sleep. You’re safe here,” he whispers as the music lowers.
I yawn. “Thank you,” I reply and close my eyes, I’m not holding out any hope but I’ll stay quiet.
“Hey sleepyhead.” That deep voice pulls me from my sleep, blinking, I see that it’s Hudson. Why is he here? Where am I?
“You were asleep, you’re home now. Come on, let’s get you inside,” he tells me as he lifts me out of the car, I wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his chest. My eyes close and I drift back to sleep.
Deep voices sound and I snuggle deeper into Hudson, wanting to block out the sound.
Stretching, I yawn. God, how long was I asleep? I don’t hear the voices anymore. Opening my eyes, the light from the en-suite shines into the room. Movement from beside me has me turning to see him.
“Hey you. Did you have a good sleep?” he asks, his laptop on the bed, he’s been working while I’ve slept.
“I did, what time is it?” I sit up and yawn.
“Almost dinner time. Are you hungry?” His voice is soft, almost as if he doesn't want to talk too loud while I'm still in a state of sleepiness.
My stomach growls on cue and I laugh. “I'm so hungry I didn't really eat much today. I’ve slept for so long. Have you been beside me all the time?” I question, feeling bad that he has.
“Of course, where would I go?” He answers as if it’s normal.
“Don't you have work to do? Or do you not need to go to the club? You haven't been there in a while.” I’m keeping him from doing his work, this is why I wouldn’t tell him what I’m feeling, he’s already sacrificing enough for me.
“Mia, relax okay. I don't need to go to the club. It’s what I have a manager for. He will call me if they need me, my main focus is on you at the moment. You can't sleep unless I'm with you or Jagger by the look of things.” He has a bite to his tone, is he angry? “So until we can get you sleeping again I am going to stay with you. You need to sleep, you haven't slept very much lately.”
I lean against him and he instantly puts his arm around me pulling me closer to him. “I trust Jagger, Hudson, that's why I was able to sleep. Nothing else.” I’m upset that he’s mad that I slept while I was in a car.
“I know, I’m just pissed that you spoke to him instead of me.”
I frown. “What?”
“Mia, you told him things today.”
I gasp. “He told you?” I pull away from him, wondering what exactly he told him.
“Yes, Mia, you’re not dirty and you’re not weak.” His tone hard, I never wanted him to find out.
I climb out of bed, his arms reaching for me but I rush for the door, needing to breathe, and needing water. I come to a stop when I walk into the living room, Jagger and Harrison are sitting down talking.
“Mia…” Hudson calls after me and both Harrison and Jagger turn to face me.
“Mia, are you okay?” Jagger asks getting to his feet.
I shake my head, disgusted that he’d tell Hudson. “I told you those things in confidence. You betrayed me.” I spit out, tears falling. “I never wanted Hudson to know that I was weak, that I’m pathetic but you couldn’t wait to tell him could you?” I scream. “I hate you.” I rush toward the front door, needing to get away. Unable to stand being in the house.
My bare feet hit the ground and I don’t stop, I rush around the back of the house knowing that I can’t leave, I’m angry not stupid. The tears keep falling, but I keep running, there’s a swing in the back, Hudson bought it for me last week, it’s somewhere I come to think. As soon as I sit, I sob. Everything I’ve felt in the past month comes flooding out.
Bringing my legs up, I let it all out.