“It’s a trauma response,” a strange voice said, not my guys, making me whine anxiously. “Depersonalisation and derealisation.”
“Stop psychoanalysing, Marcus. She needs a—”
“Nest.”
Yes, that.
That was Tristan’s voice, his arm tightening around me, holding me so hard and yet not enough.
“We have rooms that are specially cleaned to remove all scents and some emergency nesting materials—”
“I’ll take the materials, but I need to get her home.”
That deep, rich growl, I could sink right into that, lose myself in a spiral of—
“Done. Brendan, will you do the honours? I don’t believe Mr Chadwick is up to the drive.”
“You got it.”
And then I was hustled out of the room, the corridors and windows and open spaces feeling like they stabbed at me physically. This was space, space I could get lost in, my emotions rising and rising, expanding in all this fucking space, until I was about to drown—
“We gotta move.”
A desperate whine there.
“She’s gonna crack. She needs a nest!”
“And so do you. Brendan, I’ll pay you double what Marcus does if you get us to my place at the fastest safe speed.”
“He doesn’t pay me shit. I’m part owner, but don’t worry your head about that. Ground your girl. I’ll take care of the drive.”
The car helped somewhat, the shakes still racking me bone deep, any control over my body or semblance of calm gone so completely, I felt like it would never come back. So, I was bundled up into the car, between two big strong bodies, but all the while, I was lost.
I floated on a screaming sea, incoherent thoughts lashing at me. Memories smashed into me, perfectly realised snapshots of my sister’s pain, my father’s anger, my mother’s cruel imitation, flashing in my mind, only to be torn away. Which made me realise something, a moment of clarity right before the next wave came.
How did Theo respond to all this?
My brain fought—to keep my equilibrium, bailing frantically in a leaking boat of emotional turmoil, to stop the storms raging in me from pulling me apart, to hold my ground, hold myself together as the shit just rose and rose and rose.
“Gimme the keys,” the rough, strange voice said when the car came to a stop, a howl caught in my teeth, minced up into small pieces by my frantic chatter. “I’ll open the gate, the doors.”
“In the house,” the deep voice ordered. James, I told myself over and over.
But it was him, Tris, his name a long hiss in my mind, that scooped me up, growling with surprising ferocity when others tried to step in.
“You don’t know,” he snarled. “You haven’t gotten her through this before. I don’t need ham-fisted alphas fucking shit up!”
“So I’ll follow your lead. You be the alpha, Tristan, and I’ll be your beta. I’ll help you and I’ll learn.”
“Get ready to ring Len. Once we have her inside, have built her a nest, she’ll need to hear him. His voice, it’s like fucking Valium.”
“Done, now let’s go.”
This room was darker, smaller, and finally, finally, the feelings could start to be contained, condensed down into a tight ball. I curled around them, nursing that pain like a mother would her child, because I made this, I did this, I brought this to bear. It was me, me, me, me, my heart thudded. Marcus’ eloquent little speech was all good and well, but it was a rational thing and we weren’t rational beings.
You must feel violated.
Len’s words echoed in my mind. I hadn’t been, not really, not in one of the many, many ways omegas can be by those around me and yet, what other word was there? Someone had strolled into my life and taken from me the thing I needed most—happiness. I’d felt so fucking good for just a few