Jackson’s response was exactly what I expected it to be, breezy, easy-going, wanting to avoid a fuss, but the light I’d seen in his eyes before today told me there was something much more intense lying within. Tris and I had lived a lie for so long, I felt curiously emboldened now we’d stopped. Look at what we’d done together as a result. So I held my mate where he was and negotiated with the two of them.
“Stay, Jackson, if you want to.”
“Stay?” They responded the same way, but for very different reasons, Tristan’s voice full of mistrust, Jackson’s full of wonder.
“Last night blew my mind, Tris,” I told my mate. “This shouldn’t be possible.” I went to touch his mating mark, but his hand grabbed mine. “We shouldn’t be possible. We, Tris. Last night, this, what I feel inside.” My voice cracked, dammit, but I charged on.
“Not we—you,” he snapped in response. “You took me as your mate.”
“As I did a hundred times before. As you did me, and every time, the marks faded by the time the sun came up. This is the only time they’ve stuck, because of us, all of us.”
“So, what then?” I knew what was happening. Tristan’s face was closing down and he was shutting me out—his reflex whenever he felt like his back was up against the wall. “You’ll flitter from one bloke to the next, going wherever the mood takes you?”
I shoved him off me, not even looking to see him fall onto the bed. Jackson watched me wiggle away from him, but trapped in my damn sheath dress, I didn’t get far.
“This isn’t about me,” I finally snapped. “It never was. I’m just an omega. I’m happy when those I care about are happy, and when they aren’t, their feelings claw at me. I want to be cuddled and petted and stroked and treated like I’m precious, but I also want those I care about at my back as I go and kick arse and take names. I want to surrender to those strong enough to handle me, feel like no matter what I do, they’ve always got me.” I could feel my pain, and Tristan’s, deep in my chest, but it felt like nothing I could do would alleviate that. “I don’t need to be anything else, don’t need anything different than a million other omegas—”
“Not like I do,” he cut in quietly. “So what?” He looked over my shoulder at Jackson. “This is my punishment? For being…different? For needing more?”
“No, Tris.” My hands went to my face, scrubbing at it harder and harder until gentle hands grabbed mine and took them away, keeping hold of one in the process. Jackson. “It’s an opportunity for exactly that—more. You didn’t see it last night, you couldn’t, but, Tris, I want you to. Everyone came together for you, to help you do something you needed to do. That’s what this mark means, I think.” I reached over, grabbed his hand, and squeezed it hard, feeling a surge of energy when I was connected to both men and reassured somewhat when he squeezed back. “Most people find that one other person who has everything they need, but us… That was never on the cards. It was always going to be more—more people, more love. Just more.”
“You’re mine,” he grumbled, pulling me back across the bed and up against his body, hunching over me as, I assumed, he glowered at Jackson. The other man looked distinctly uncomfortable, but the fact he was sitting this out gave me some hope. There was something about the beta that made me want to know more. What did he think? How did he feel? What the hell was going on with him and Len?
“I always will be, Tris, you know that. If you don’t want anything else, if you just want to try and make something work between us, then we’ll have to keep looking for a way.”
“Or?” he asked.
“Or we keep walking the path we’ve started down. We stay open to exploring things with others as they consider trialling things with us…and with each other.”
Jackson stiffened at that, his eyes widening, a whole lot going on, but he didn’t let out a peep in response.
“We?” Tristan asked.
“I don’t know if everyone wants to play that way. That’s what we’d have to find out, together.” I watched the beta respond, reading his body language. “Like, Jackson, would you want to kiss me? Kiss Tristan?”
“I…” He snorted, then smiled. Deflecting, I could tell. “Of course I’d fucking want to. Seeing the two of you yesterday…” His gaze softened, slid away. “How could I not?”
“Both of us.” Tristan’s voice was still flat, but he picked me up, setting me gently aside, then crawled across the bed towards the beta. Jackson couldn’t help but stiffen, and I got why. There was something of a game of chicken in this, in the way my mate shot a look over his shoulder at me, waiting for me to respond, to stop him, I guessed, but he couldn’t put on an epic front anymore. I could feel him inside me, knew that he was angry, scared, frustrated, yeah, but also curious. He moved slowly closer to him, the predatory omega with the reluctant beta.
Jackson’s focus narrowed down, his broad chest beginning to heave as he stared at Tristan’s lips and caught the moment they shifted into a cruel twist. His fingers clawed absently at the bedspread, his brows arrowing down, his mouth falling open as Tris moved into his space, angling his head, his intention clear, but I stopped him, just for a second.
“Do this for the right reasons,” I said, feeling the agony of seeing him reach for someone else, but with it also came an ecstasy. That feeling last night, I didn’t know if it was replicable, but like a junkie, I was chasing that high, that sensation of oneness, and if kissing Jackson would get us there, I was thoroughly on board. He might be angry about it now, but Tris and I, we would always want more.
We couldn’t be contained by the bourgeois bullshit we sprang from, fitting nicely into our predetermined boxes and eking out perfectly normal lives. I was a bad daughter, a bad omega, and a bad mate, because I was willing to risk the fledgling bond we’d just built together, for what?
“Kiss him because you want to, because you want to feel the prickle of his beard on your skin
.” I moved closer, needing to be near to see it all. “Kiss him because he smells good, looks so warm and strong. Kiss him because he hovers around on the edges wanting to come in.” Jackson’s eyes jerked sideways, meeting mine, frowning for a second. “Kiss him because this is what you, and I, need.”
“And what do you need, beta?” Tristan asked him in a perfect deep alpha register, his smile widening when he saw Jackson shiver.
“I…”
Tris watched him struggle to find the words, moving slowly like a snake about to strike.
“I think I need to check in with Len about this,” Jackson said.
“What do you need to check in with me about?”