For a minute, I felt a kinship with James he would not have anticipated. He was needy. It looked different in alphas, all hot, burning gazes that shook you to your core, but it was basically the same. Except for one crucial thing—he could reach out, take what he wanted, like he had my hands, holding and touching and getting what he wanted. Whereas I? I was trained to be this passive thing, to wait for his overtures and then accede to every one. So perhaps that was why I did what I did.
I pulled a hand from his, making a brief look of fear and pain appear on his face, before I broke the omega’s code. Reaching out with my freed hand, I placed it on his chest, on that small sliver of bare skin at his collar, then slid my fingers just under the fabric of his shirt.
I’ll bet you thought when I said I was a bad girl, it meant I was going on drinking sprees and vomiting in my mother’s rose bushes, ignoring all rules of decorum and cutting a bloody swathe through society, but that wasn’t the kind of bad girl I was. I focussed now on the hot feel of James’ skin under my fingers, that hard muscular plane kept hidden under some very well tailored evening wear, to listen to the rapid thud of his heart. I was bad because I could’ve spurned James, told my father exactly how I felt, packed up my shit, and holed up at Len’s place. I was pretty sure he’d have given me safe harbour, not laying a finger on me until I begged for it. Instead, I did this.
There was part of me that was omega, not Kit or Katherine, not Tristan’s lover or Cress and Theo’s sister. She was an instinctual, primal side of me, and she wasn’t too fussed about who we played with, as long as they were strong and could give us what we needed. My nails scratched across his chest, and his breath came out raspy and forced, his hand slapping over mine and holding it against his skin.
“Kit…” he hissed, his eyes boring into mine, and I couldn’t look away now, not when he had me in his sights, and worse, I didn’t want to. Theo’s offhand comment? It had some truth to it. James was different to most of the other alphas in my circle, and that was worth exploring.
“I need to know if I should pursue this or brush my family off. I’ll keep you safe, no matter what. If you don’t want this, I’ll lie, tell them we aren’t compatible, that I thought you were something you aren’t.”
“Or?” I asked, my voice arch.
“Or I come for you tomorrow morning, because I don’t think I can wait any longer than that. I’ll take you to brunch, and we’ll talk, a lot.” His grip on my hand tightened, almost to the point of pain, and I liked that. I wanted it to hurt, what was about to happen, because I deserved it.
“Yes,” I replied, then smiled just as I had practised so many times at school. “I’d like that very much.”
James’ face lit up, his fingers drawing mine up so that he could brush his lips across the knuckles.
“There’s a lovely place that’s opened up on the waterfront. It belongs to a friend. Not quite as formal as some of the places you’re used to but—”
“Less formal sounds perfect,” I responded, liking the way he got a little flustered, clinging to that feeling to get me through this. “I’ve got to admit, nouvelle cuisine with a smear of balsamic glaze, a small ball of melon, and a morsel of smoked salmon is not really my bag. We could probably just do a Macca’s run and eat McMuffins on the beach and I’d be happy.”
He snorted, his smile widening. “Well, I think I can do better than that, but noted.” Both hands moved to cradle mine. “Kit… I’m well aware of the bullshit they push on ladies like yourself, but please know, I don’t buy into that. I never have. When you sat for me, your relationship with Tris—”
“Let’s not talk about that,” I said sharply, way too sharply, but James just nodded.
“Whatever you want, Kit, you just let me know. I’m willing to be led by you” —his voice deepened as he moved closer, his body brushing mine as his finger slid up, tracing the length of my neck— “until you’re ready for me to take over. I find that I’m looking forward to that moment very much.”
And then there I was, gasping in his scent, sucking it down like a good little omega, my head scattered by such a big, warm, alpha presence.
This was bad. I was bad, because I knew what I was doing, that I was about to break the heart of the one person I truly loved, but I couldn’t see any other way. If I didn’t break things with Tristan, he’d never take that leap, not without me. He’d try to bring me with him, make his mate mine, irrespective of how Len and I felt about it, and that was where the goodwill of my family would run dry.
For Tristan and for me.
So I let James lead me back to the throng, the eyes of both our families upon us, warm smiles and approving nods all around, except for Mum.
She hadn’t attended the event, probably hadn’t been allowed to, excused with a ‘migraine’ or some other nebulous illness and given a fistful of her doctor’s medication to keep her quiet. It kept her out of the way, making sure she couldn’t offend the powerful Chadwicks, while also serving as a solemn, cautionary tale for me.
Later that night, after our guests had gone and James had pressed a kiss to my cheek with a promise to come for me in the morning, my father asked me to come into his office.
“You’ve done well for us tonight, Kit. If I had an inkling the Chadwicks… When Theo got word of James’ proposal to sit for him naked—”
“Nude,” I corrected quietly, but he forged on.
“I was ready to say no, but I wondered, had hoped, that something like this might eventuate.” He smiled, the first genuine one I’d seen in ages. “A joining of our families…” For a second, his eyes seemed to see something other than me, something glorious. As that could never last long, they sharpened and stared at me. “You’ll need to think long and hard about refusing James’ mating marks if that is offered. Long and hard. They are not a family we can afford to alienate, and if they feel like you are toying with his affections…”
“You know I’m hardly likely to do that, Dad.”
He nodded slowly. “I know, Kit. You’re not a silly girl, not like some of the omegas and their fascination with social media. Posing for photos and sharing every damn detail of their lives with the outside world. It’s tasteless. So Greta informs me he wants to take you for brunch! Said he was so desperate to take you out, he could barely wait for then. So off to bed, sweetheart. You’ll need to be fresh and ready when he calls.”
“Of course,” I replied, ducking my head and then turning to leave.
I was lucky that I had my back to him when he said the next thing, so he didn’t see my expression.
“And don’t worry about Tristan. I know Cressida has told you that an alpha put in an offer for him, but we’ll nix that quickly enough. He’ll become part of our family, one way or the other.”
He said the words like they were supposed to give me solace, help me make my break and move onto James with a clear heart, but it froze mine instead. ‘Nix it,’ that was a family phrase for when the Greysons would use their considerable power and position to skew the results in our favour. This time, it would be Len, and maybe Jackson, who’d be nixed, making every muscle in my body freeze. I forced my mouth to move, to reply to my father the way I had to.