“Cyn…” His voice was nails raking down the blackboard of my soul. “Omega!”
I stiffened, like a gazelle on the savanna, pretty damn sure a fucking big lion was lurking in the bushes, about to make me its dinner. Every muscle quivered at the sound of Rhys’ command, adrenalin pumping through my body, getting ready to fight or flight.
“Omega, you need to—”
I didn’t catch the rest of it, striding over to the window and slamming it down so fucking hard, the therapist had to jerk her fingers away or have them broken. The glass didn’t fare as well, cracking and crazing across the whole pane. I stood there, looking down, my view of the world fractured in a multitude of little shards, and that seemed just about right. I stared down at the figures on my mother’s lawn, seeing only one. More mountain than man, he paced across the grass, back and forth, and then his head jerked up, those eyes burning like blue flame as they gazed up at me.
But he wasn’t getting that, the chance to stand there, pining after me like some Romeo to my Juliet. My fists balled in the correct form, thumbs on the outside, just like Kai had taught me, and then I strode over to the door.
Trash your room, punch the door. The therapist’s words reverberated around in my head as I wrenched mine open, catching Mum hovering there, an audience for the moment when I slammed the fucking thing into the wall, the handle burying itself into the plaster, but I didn’t pause to inspect my handiwork. I thundered down the stairs at speed, which was impressive, given my light frame, then zoomed through the living area, Mum on my heels.
“Cyn, don’t you think—?”
“No. No, no, no!” My mum jerked back like I’d fucking slapped her, and for a second, I realised what being an alpha must feel like. You declared things, and lo and behold, it happened, your demands met automatically, the power gifted you by biology making it so. “You knew. They knew. Everyone fucking knew.” The last bit was where my voice broke, the tears bleeding through, but I ground my teeth hard enough to feel them crack. Not yet. I wasn’t safe.
“I didn’t want to—”
I shook my head, running over to the front door and wrenching it open, and there they fucking were.
I needed an omega psychologist, I realised, someone equipped to help me to understand this, because it didn’t make any sense. None of the omegas I’d met in real life or online talked about these parallels in their lives, moments overlaid on top of each other, despite the time elapsed.
Because they stood there in the late afternoon sun, each of the four men cast gold by the sunlight, and I saw double. Savage teenagers, much more savage adults, hiding their claws right now, but I wasn’t that omega they’d coaxed into the forest. They froze, so fucking still, it was eerie, like someone had decided to destroy my peace of mind by erecting statues of them in my yard, but I prowled closer, eyeing them with an anger and suspicion that burned so hot, sweat pricked my forehead.
“Cyn—” Rhys said, starting forward.
“Shut up, stand back, don’t come any closer.” It was my voice that was a whip crack, and I lashed them without even a second thought. “You will not fucking speak unless I give you leave.” I watched their throats work, like they wanted to disobey, but I knew without checking that they wouldn’t. Couldn’t.
“You…” I was the alpha now, moving like a hunting cat towards Orion, his skin so pale, his eyes appeared to glow. “You manipulated this whole fucking thing. Must’ve creamed your pants when I suggested Bridgerton-ing this thing. I thought I was so smart, but I played right into your hands.”
I jerked away before he responded, not wanting to give him any more of my attention, moving to Marcus.
“You knew. What I would do, what Orion would do, what Benson would do. All of it. You said you see everything coming, but you weren’t talking some alpha bullshit. You do see, all of it, and you chose to play your game rather than include me in it.”
I took a long shuddering breath, then another, before I moved again.
“You?”
I sneered now, my mouth twisting, because ugly words were about to spill out. Brendan stood tall, hand clasping at the wrist, a criminal at an execution. By taking me to meet his family, letting me sink into that, he’d stolen from me as sure as if he’d broken into my room and stripped it of valuables. In some ways, this was worse, because I could replace things.
“You said you were the spear bearer. The not alpha, pulling his forelock, following orders, doing as you were told because those brighter, smarter, or better than you delivered them. You didn’t have to. You don’t have to be their fucking servant, just to earn your place at their side. You could have told me, and I would never have let you leave mine.”
I jerked back as his eyes dropped, my feet feeling like they were encased in concrete right now, but I forced myself to move, standing farther back from Rhys, unable to countenance getting any closer. It was OK, Kai said I was never going to win if I relied on body shots. I had to dart in, deliver something punishing, then get the fuck out of Dodge.
“And you…”
I forced my eyes to study him, took in the lank hair, the filthy clothes, the leaned down and hollowed out look of my mate. My omega nature kicked me in the ribs, wanting to get closer, to stroke his brow, smooth his hair
back, to hold him. I let myself feel that impulse, to give it its head for just a few seconds, before I crushed it like a bug.
“The sweet one, the growly one, the protective one, the knowledgeable one. You were the lure in their trap, and I bet you didn’t even know. There is nothing true in them, nothing pure enough to catch my heart, but you?” My teeth were an alpha’s, sharp and vicious, as the words formed in my head. “That’s what they use you for, why they keep you around. To remind them of the humanity they left far behind. You fucked me so good, tied me to you, forced me to…because you…”
I was raging. I’d been filled with a poisonous black cloud since I stumbled home, and now I’d let it out. This had been what I was scared of, why I locked myself in the room. I just needed to lie over this mess, absorbing the explosions until they finally stopped detonating. Otherwise, there was this—that cold, hard moment of regret. My words faltered, what had been dammed up inside me all having rushed out, but what was left? Just an empty fucking shell, one who witnessed Rhys’ next move in quiet horror.
He dropped down to his knees in an ugly, rickety movement that spoke of aching joints and bruised muscles, making me wonder how they’d gotten there. But the thought couldn’t stay as he made it, kneeling before me, the silence, the piercing intensity of his gaze so much more effective than any words.
Because a silence was always filled, and mine was by ragged breaths, like I’d been running for miles. That and almost sobs.
They wanted to come, the pain in my chest expanding out and out in the way pleasure had when I was with him last. Then his arms went out, a perfect display of surrender. We were the anti omega, the anti alpha, our roles totally reversed, though there was precedence.