I’m not, but at some point I hope you’ll see you were a victim as well.
“This is one of the things I needed to teach you,” Nan said, plopping down beside me. “I don’t have much time left, not until the thing with Ash happens.”
“What thing with Ash?”
“Not now, focus on your beast. A lot of your power is tied up in him. It's why he disappeared when you let that doctor pull from you. He is you, in a way. Are you a fan of Jung’s psychology?”
“Hasn’t all that been largely disproved?”
“Perhaps,” she said with a shrug. “Look up what an animus is when you get home. Anyway, the dragon is you for all intents and purposes.”
“He knows, remembers stuff I’ve never heard of. Like the Rozenrrath. What was the deal with them?”
Her smile grew sly. “That’s something for the two of you to puzzle out. Now, to your beast. You could eradicate the experience.” I turned to look at M, he didn’t move in response to the suggestion. “That doctor’s still there, you could beat him to a bloody pulp. You can reabsorb the magic you devote to keeping Miazydar going.” My fingers tightened into fists at that. “You’ll need to unpick this one, love,” Nan said, patting my knee. “You’ll work out what to do, you always do. But remember, every action has a reaction, multiple reactions. You’re at the centre of a spider’s web of consequences and as you can see, you can’t predict how they will play out. That’s always the shortcomings of power like ours. Go with your heart, it’s the best you can do.”
Tears filled my eyes but went unspent as she disappeared again, fading until there was nothing left. I looked around at my dragon. Why didn’t I go to him? Why didn’t I help him first?
“Take the chemicals from his system, like you did the Queen,” Scalla said, placing an arm around my shoulders.
It’s your actions now that matter, Greynell said, approaching Miazydar and sitting down in the sand.
You could see the changes in him when I did so. They weren’t positive, his eyes screwed closed tighter, his body hunched further as if warding off a blow. Miazydar, I should’ve come for you first.
No, it’s right that I be seen last, if at all! His head jerked up and his eyes bore into mine. I hurt her, forced her, did the most disgusting thing a dragon can do to another! I knew I shouldn’t be doing it, but I did it anyway! I raped her! I took a step towards him, his head reared back and he hissed when I did so.
“Tess!” Flea yelled as a trickle of flame came from his jaws, but I just held my dragon’s eyes with mine and walked open-armed towards him. Flames came, but I didn’t let them singe me, moving in until my arms were thrown around the base of his neck. I held on, aware of the conflagration behind me. I rested my face against the hard shiny surface of his scales until finally it all trailed away. Then everyone moved in; my human friends and the dragon ones as well. We clustered around Miazydar and pressed our bodies into his and waited.
Miazydar’s cry was a more subdued, pitiful thing, the sob of the brokenhearted. A group hug wasn’t magic, wasn’t going to do much and he wanted it that way, but there’s a comfort that comes from having your pain witnessed. We would be dealing with this for some time, but perhaps that was fitting.
Finally, when the sun began to set, there was nothing more for me to do. I mean there were thousands of things I could do. I could hear the sirens, see the plumes of smoke beginning already. There would be rioting at the very least. I sighed, but unless I was prepared to install myself as the sole player of the SIMS game that was Aravisia, I needed to leave and trust that the many capable people here would find a way. “If you need me...” I said as I got to my feet.
“Miazydar will reach out,” Scalla said before wrapping me in a big hug. “Let’s hope this works out, that we can work towards something better.”
I hugged her back, patting her awkwardly because I never know what to do when people hug me. It was either that or freeze like some inanimate log.
“You guys ready?” I said to Flea and Jez.
“Just need to grab my stuff...oh!” Their bags and mine dropped on the floor in front of us. Flea smiled and drew me in, holding me against his chest so I was forced to breathe in his scent of bergamot and cigarettes.
“Let’s go home.”
39
“You gave them tea, I bloody told you not to do that,” I said.
We appeared in the shop with a flash to find Ash being mobbed by small furry creatures.
“God fucking damn!” Ash swore as she batted the a teeming horde of Podlings with her broom. “Yes, but you didn’t say that when you did, they split into thousands of little furry entities with big sharp teeth!” Almost in response to this, several lunged at her ankle, which had her kicking wildly.
I shook my head and waved a hand. The Podlings instantly reverted to their parent forms. I sketched the customary bow to both, waiting until they responded before straightening up. “My apologies, collective ones, my sister is not versed in your ways.” Ash got a whole lot of side-eye from their many, many orbs. “I promise a hundredweight of gold per equivalent in pod phlegm going forward as reparations.”
“This is acceptable. See that all tea is removed from your offered beverages in future. You have quite a nice world, it would be a pity for it to be consumed by our children,” the two parent forms said.
I bowed again, ignoring the implied threat and assuring them of just that, before ushering them through the portal.
“You’re back! Thank fuck! And why the hell were you guys gone so bloody long? You will not believe the stories I’ve been feeding Mum to keep her off the scent,” Ash said.
I collapsed into one of the meeting room chairs, Miazydar going to a corner and curling up in it, head on his paws. Flea kissed my head and said, “I’m calling Gabe, see where we’re at with the business. We’ll get pizza afterwards, yeah?”