“Right, but we all chose to come, we all chose to stay and we are all going to choose to work together to get through this. You focus on getting better, then the study. We can’t do that for you. I was out of school the moment I was allowed to and working for your Nan.”
“I dropped out halfway through Year 11,” Flea said.
“So that’s your focus because you’re the most educated. Sneaky arse shit like planting poison? That’s right up our alley. We’re home most of the time, we need to start thinking like soldiers protecting camp on enemy turf.”
“Can you shoot?” Flea asked Jez.
“A bit, it might be time to get a little practise in though, do you have much ammo?” He nodded. “Not too much practise though, we need to be prepared for Waco level crazy. Patrol the house, check to see if there’s any more planted evidence. No one comes in except us three.”
“And Keel,” I said. Both of them went quiet, then came the side-eye. “Look, he’s about my only chance of passing these assessments right now. I have to be able to ride like a dragon rider, including fight on dragon back. I can’t read my way to doing that. Someone has to show me.”
“Yeah, OK…” Flea growled at this but Jez shook her head. “It’s not him specifically, it’s just y’know, Merlin, you’ve got a bit of soft spot for him. Like, I know he’s a separate guy, and who saw that coming, but…”
“What she’s pussyfooting around is, can you trust him? If the university’s determined to see you cut off from Miazydar and the government is determined to see you cut off from Miazydar, what’s his agenda?” Flea said.
“He’s a dragon rider, they don’t like seeing another rider being threatened with separation,” I said.
“He’s a soldier, they follow orders,” he shot back, “and he’s on the make, you gotta see that.”
“He’s kinda flirty, but it’s hard for me to know whether he means anything by it or that’s just him.”
“C’mon Tess, you know what he means by it.”
“Like I know what this means?” I said, gesturing to the food. “If we’re going to put everything on the table, both literally and metaphorically, is this up for discussion too?” I said, flicking a finger between him and me.
“And that’s my cue to retire to my little cupboard,” Jez said. “Sorry guys, but I’m allergic to relationships.” I watched her dig through the pantry, retrieving a bottle of Shay and pouring herself a glass. “Fight fair, no weapons allowed and if you start screaming, make it really obvious if it’s the ‘I want to kill you’ versus the ‘oh give it to me, big boy’, because I don’t need to see either of you naked.”
We both watched her disappear up the hall and when he looked back, Flea’s eyes were on the table, his face set in that weird shuttered expression guys get when they don’t want to talk. I sighed. Everything hurt, I didn’t have it in me to fight him to discuss our ‘relationship’ or whatever was going on between us. I glanced down at the dragon tattoo on my arm, the scabs having healed over. It shone bright red now. I ran a finger down the spine, wishing it was the real one I was touching. Miazydar, I hope you’re safe, I said, as much to myself as to him.
“What do you want me to say, Tess? That one minute we’re fucking like crazy and the next you’ve gone through an inter-dimensional portal? I tried not to take it too personally, you’d never even looked my way before that night, but I’d looked yours plenty. I had no idea what the fuck was going on between us, but I wanted a chance to find out, so I went with Gabe and we came after you. You didn’t want to talk to me, to your own bloody sister, while she barely escaped being raped and Gabe had gotten beaten into a coma.”
“I know I fucked up,” I said, my chin sinking to my chest. The heavy weight that Jez had been able to cut through began to settle back down, pressing me down into my chair.
“It’s not that. You keep us all at arm’s length all the time. Then it was in the name of adventure, now it’s the bloody dragon or this school. We’re here, with you, for you, but you don’t let us in.”
“I let you in plenty when you did this,” I said, pointing to my arm, “and look where that got me.”
“Because in he waltzes again, the guy I’ve had the fucking pleasure of watching you pine over. Why would I stay? No bloke wants to see the woman he’s been cosied up with go to pieces over another guy, especially the one that got away.”
“I didn’t even want him there. Ash was meddling, yet a-fucking-gain.”
“So, did you tell him to leave?”
“No, but I made it plain I wasn’t happy. We sat and talked about how I’d been feeling, since…”
“Yeah, y’see that’s the shit that kills me. I’m balls deep in you, watching you come on the end of my cock, but it’s him who you share what you’re feeling and thinking about. If you just want a fuck, just say so,” he said, getting to his feet and tearing his shirt off over his head. His hands go to his belt. “I’ve got a big cock and you feel damn fine on it. We’ve got three months, let's fuck this out of our system and then we can go back to being professional at the shop.”
I get up, reach out, trying to stop him from unbuckling his pants, but he’s too strong for me. My hands land on bare flesh and he stops, we both stopped still. I heard his breath coming in hoarse, our eyes lifting to meet. “How do I have this conversation, Flea?” I sa
id, flattening my hand on the hard surface of his abdomen. “How do I admit out loud that I was crushing on a guy who was completely oblivious to me? How do I tell you that the sex between you and me was fantastic, that being in your arms gave me a measure of peace I haven’t felt in what feels like ages? How do I tell you I’m attracted to Keel? Not because he looks like Merlin, but because he seems funny and a good guy. That when I woke up this morning I was watching you move, hoping to catch a glimpse of your naked body as you slept, but when I’m on the field with him, I’m smelling his scent and wondering what he’d taste like.” I pull away. “How do I say that I don’t know either of you well enough to decide whether I want a relationship with you?”
He grabbed my hand and pushed it down his pants where I found him hard and ready, “You just did.” His mouth silenced any future conversation, but I’d probably said enough. His lips were hard but slow, giving me all the time in the world to pull away, shut him down. I’m bone tired and feeling woozy, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “All I want is a chance, Tess,” he said. “You don’t owe me an outcome, but I need to know I’ve got a chance.”
Being freed from expectation made me feel so much better. Suddenly I didn’t need to question what he’s doing or what I’m doing, I could just be in the moment. I celebrated that by drawing his head down, kissing him over and over until we’re both breathless. “Yes,” I whispered against his lips.
His mouth smiled against mine and he started to manoeuvre me down the hall. “We’ve got to store all this food. We can’t afford to waste any if Miazydar is AWOL.”
He gave me one more long kiss, then pulled away. “Go, lie down. I’ll be there in a minute.”