You have nothing to fear, Miazydar said in his usual deep soothing voice. You are the dragon.
I’m not! I can’t fly my way out of this! I can’t flame my stupid fucking enemies! To stay together, I don’t have to run from your tail to your shoulders and back again; I have to be able to fight!
You are the dragon; he says. Take the step.
I tried to hold back the sobs, unsuccessfully, shamed not only that I’d been reduced to tears, but that everyone tuned into the commlinks would hear them. I gritted my teeth, blinking furiously to clear my eyes, unwilling to drop my arms to try and wipe them away. This is it, I told myself, I’ve just got to jump off. My feet were ice cold but I lifted one up and then put it down again, further along Miazydar’s spine. “Good work, cadet! Now another, before you start to overthink it.”
I didn’t feel a sense of achievement, just a heavy, flat feeling of resignation. I had no choice; I hadn’t since I came here. Live, die, be poisoned, fall to my death, I was powerless, all I could do was submit. It’s unpleasant, all my wants, needs, tears, fears, desires were sucked away for a moment until all that was left was the empty shell of me. A me that took one step, then another, moving down Miazydar’s spine with the loose-kneed gait they instructed me to use to counter the bounce of my dragon in the air stream. I got to the end, turned on my heel and walked back, nodding to the Captain.
“Excellent, cadet,” she says, her tone much more muted now. “Practise that for a bit while I set the other riders their tasks.”
I watched them, the other riders as I walked back and forth. I no longer trained my eyes on my every step. I needed to let my muscle memory develop as I certainly wouldn’t be watching my feet when fighting. I noticed that Miazydar shifts slightly sideways when my foot goes wide. The dragons tore through the air in a series of complex crisscrossing manoeuvres, seeming to fly within metres of each other, the dragon’s wings looking close enough to touch. Do you think we’d ever be able to do that? I said.
We could now, M replied. I got from the fair woman’s mind that what you’re doing is not something they would start a youngster on until they had mastered some basic balance exercises. You’ve skipped several years in training already.
I didn’t realise you could read people’s minds.
Not well, they need to be connected to mine as hers was when she was coaching us. All dragons can push communication to receptive beings, it’s how most speak to humans. The doctor the other day didn’t know how to give and receive information so it all came as an onslaught. This was just taking a little of the Lieutenant’s foremost thoughts as we were communicating.
What was she talking to you about? How to talk me down from a ledge?
More like along a ledge, but yes. I was never worried, I knew you’d be fine. You should try some of your basic fight stances, see how they feel. I looked at his back in trepidation. I was beginning to feel comfortable walking but fighting?
I’ll always catch you if you fall, my dragon said.
I sighed and fell into a basic sword stance.
“Good, good, you’ve noticed that your centre of gravity is different on dragon back?” Keya said, drawing her beast up close to mine. It was a large blue animal, its scales glittering in a range of hues from turquoise to ultramarine. She shifted so she was in a similar pose to mine after pulling the spear from the holster at the dragon’s shoulder. She spun it around and showed me some of the basic stances, moving slowly so I could see how they flowed from one to the other. “Keel said you have some fighting skills. You’re going to need to practise them. Land your dragon, he’s been hovering for some time. Too much puts strain on the wing joints.”
Miazydar snorted at this but waited for me to take a seat before angling us down, heading for the ground.
“You’re going to need to practise this a lot,” the Captain said with a slight wince. “You’ve done very well today, but the VC is being difficult. It’s a bad business, no doubt he thinks his enrolments will improve when he’s seen to be dispensing dragons to ?
??more worthy’ candidates or that idiot Blake has promised him more funding. At any rate, your job is to make theirs as hard as you can, OK?”
“I’m doing my best but…”
“You’ve been set an impossible task. Be reassured, we know. Everyone tries to use dragon riders as pawns, to solve problems, to support their bids for power, and we stay apart but know this, we look after our own. You seem to have a fan in Keel.” She nodded to the dragon rider who had joined us. “He’s offered to do some extra tutoring with you, take him up on that.”
She turned and went back to the other riders. “So, I’ll see you in the afternoons, after school?” Keel said with a smile.
“Yeah, if you give me say half an hour to get changed and get a coffee in me, we can meet in the area near the eyries.”
“Your brother won’t run me off?”
“Brother? Oh, you mean Flea. He’s not my brother, he and Jez came with me as moral support.”
“So, not a yes or a no. Interesting. We also need to settle the matter of payment.”
“Payment? I gave you your damn kiss. If you were dumb enough not to specify where you wanted it, that’s no fault of mine.”
“Yes, the suit is paid for. The boots and helmet are another matter.” My mouth fell open. I wanted to say something smart, but I had nothing. “I very much look forward to hammering out a deal that should be mutually satisfying. Until this afternoon then?”
You’re going to need to do something about this, Miazydar said. Mating battles between dragons can be brutal. I doubt it would be any different between two armed and competent male humans.
I sighed as I shimmied out of the dragon rider suit, rolling it into a neat ball and shoving it into my gym bag. Been in a few, huh? Have I got to look out for you getting feisty with the other dragons here? Any of the other dragons turned your head?
Considering they are all male, no. It’s not unheard of for same sex pairings, but it doesn’t happen often.