Page 4 of Not My Fantasy

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"What about the prince?" Tess asked.

"He can help."

It took a bit of explaining. I think the prince was having difficulties getting his head around the fact he wasn't being asked for gallant shows of bravery, but rather plain old manual labour.

"Well, he's strong," Jez said, watching him walk away with a massive pile of books.

"Getting them into the back room isn't the issue," Tess said. "We're running out of space."

Sure enough, Tess was right. "Is this to your liking, madam?" Harold asked.

"Lovely, thank you. You can grab the augury shelf next if you like."

"Of course, ever at your service."

The books lined every available shelf in the storeroom were stacked in piles on the floor, on cupboards, table tops . . . I scratched my head, looking around for somewhere else to put the damn things. “Hey, Jez, what’s the deal with these cupboards along the walls? Could we put some in there?”

“Not sure. Your Nan looked after inventory. There was a lot of stuff that was iffy to deal with, so she didn’t exactly encourage anyone else messing with it. I think she had a system all of her own for so long, she couldn’t be bothered to teach anyone else.”

I went over to the closest, tugging on the handle and found it locked. I grabbed the big ring of keys that hung on a hook by the doorway and tried a couple before I got it open. “Whew!” All three of us girls stepped back from the cloud of smelly dust which hit us as we peered inside the door. When it settled, we found a bunch of glass jars with nondescript brown contents. Each one was labelled in a faint spidery hand.

“What’s this?” Tess said, picking up something that looked suspiciously like bird claws.

“Chicken feet,” I said, squinting at the writing.

“No, too many letters. Cockatrice feet?” Jez said

“What? You've got to be kidding. Cockatrices are like mythical D&D stuff,” Tess spluttered. Jez and I looked at her in surprise. “What, I used to be into mythical animals and stuff when I was a kid. Nan let me read that big book of hers. What was it called?”

“The Bestiary? I remember because Mum thought it said something a whole lot different and nearly flipped her lid, until Dad pointed out the actual spelling of the title.”

“I stopped reading it after that, it felt . . . weird. Look, there’s a fair bit of space in here. Let's open the other cupboards and start sticking books in here.”

“You’re going to have to do an inventory,” Jez said, looking around her.

“Ah no, you’re going to have to do an inventory, as soon as we get those books moved. Photos of each one, order them alphabetically and start selling these suckers online.”

“Me and my big mouth. . . . Alright, come on, Your Majesty. Stash those babies in here on the bottom shelf. Watch out for the jars of . . . buffalo testicles. Ew!”

Tess and the others went back to hauling books as I struggled to open all the cupboards. Most were like the first one, dusty with a bunch of brown jars in them, but a few held stock we'd never seen before. One ended up being a wardrobe full of richly coloured clothes. "Whoa!" I said, waving away the stench of mothballs.

"What the . . .?" Jez said, and then that was it, all us girls downed tools to inspect the new threads.

"What do you think?" Tess held a deep-blue crushed velvet dress up to her body.

"Girl, that's doing some amazing things to your eyes. They really pop!"

"Ah, thank goodness, proper raiment for your ladyships! I was quite concerned that some misfortune had befallen your house that required you all to wear men's clothing," the prince said.

I moved to one of the last cupboards as everyone else twittered about the clothes. It was a lot larger than the others and seemed to be built in an alcove in the wall rather than sitting against it. Either that or it was some kind of back door. I went through all of the keys on the ring but none fit. No wonder really, the lock looked ancient, made from black cast iron. I looked around as the girls started trying frocks on.

"Ma'am, may I say how beautiful you look in that gown?" Harold asked.

"You may, kind sir," Jez said with an exaggerated curtsey before she and Tess burst out laughing. I pawed my way through the stuff on the shelves under the hook. Books, old receipts, a box of old paper clips and rubber bands, a locked cash box. Huh, I picked it up then gave it a shake. A few metal things jangled around inside. I opened it with a small key on the ring and found what looked like an old medal, a silver ring with an unpolished chunk of amethyst in it, a bunch of old coins from God knows where and a big ornate key.

"Ooh," Tess said with a grin, "that looks like a magical key that opens a treasure chest or a wizard's book of spells."

"Kinda weird that it's so fancy. Maybe it's just the equivalent of a magical hazmat cabinet."


Tags: Sam Hall Book Lover Fantasy