“It’s Daniel,” he said, picking up his knife and fork and starting to eat.
The meal went by very quickly. There was just the constant clinking and scraping of silverware on ceramic and then we were done. He picked up his plate and mine without saying a word and put them in the sink, giving them a rinse before disappearing off into the bathroom. My phone was in my hand the moment I heard the shower run, dialling my sister’s number in the next.
“Hey,” she said in a sleepy mumble.
“Gabe wants to come to lunch at Mum and Dad’s.”
“Ah, so he turned up after all, huh? I thought he might.”
“Are you listening to me? Mum, Dad and biker porn guy. Can you imagine? I thought it was all part of the international bro code; thou shalt not meet the in-laws until engaged or she’s knocked up,” I hissed.
“I’ve met my boyfriend’s parents and I wasn’t knocked up.”
“Yes, but you’re a girl and he . . . is not a girl. What do I do? Mum will shit bricks! And why the hell is he doing this? I think he’s pissed that I didn’t invite him!” I hissed.
“Oh . . . oh!”
“What? What does that mean?”
“Ash, maybe this is what Nan’s curse was about! Finding someone to love! And he’s so perfect for you. Strong without being too pushy.”
“Tess.”
“And you always did have a thing for blonds.”
“Tess! You’ve read the damn book, what am I to expect here?”
“Um . . . well, is he being kinda . . . squishy?”
“Squishy? I guess. He was all ’this is so good, and you want to turn your back on it’ yesterday, but it was hardly protestations of love.”
“Yeah, I think those are coming.”
“What? What have you fucking done?”
“Look, I know it’s fast–”
“We fucked a couple of times, that’s it. I don’t know where he works, how old he is, whether he thinks pineapple is an aberration on pizzas? And he knows nothing about me!”
“I know, but it’s a bit of a thing . . .”
“What is a thing?” I snarled.
“A lot of romance novels like what’s called insta-love. People have chemistry,
fuck like bunnies, bada bing, you’re in love.”
“That’s not love, that’s insanity.”
“I know that, but it’s all terribly romantic. And good sex is code for soul mate/father of your unborn children in these books. Apparently, all relationships without earth-moving sex aren’t true love.”
“I hate you.”
“Look, just let him down easy. It’ll be fine.”
“Hate you so, so much.”
“Or maybe . . .”